Summer break went by way to fast, again....But doesn't it always seem to work out this way? And to make matters worse we didn't do nearly the things we had wanted to. We did manage to fit a few fun things in though which makes me happy, but next year I really want to be able to actually make every day of summer count. Perhaps I will start planning next summer now, and that way there will be no excuse for letting time slip through our fingers as if it never existed in the first place.
Ah to dream....We all know that I wont give next summer another thought until May 29, 2014 rolls around and I scramble to make it the "best summer ever"......
Until then I just want to say goodbye Summer break. You really were good to us, and we appreciate every lazy day and every fun filled activity we accomplished on your watch. We will see you again next year....
Without further ado here is a bit of what our summer looked like.
May I walk in grace always...
Monday, August 12, 2013
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Something About Six
When we were waiting for a court date for the boys I was browsing the domestic waiting child lists. I happened upon a sibling group of six and the wheels started spinning. I looked at their pictures, I watched a short video that had been made, where each of them talked about what they wanted in a family. They were precious and beautiful and my heart broke for them. I talked to Jimmy and asked if there was any way we could try to pursue their adoption. He smiled at me, told me how much he loved me, and then apologized and told me no, there was no way he could do six in addition to our two boys we were waiting to bring home.
My heart sank. There was something about the number six that I couldn't shake. It seemed right. It seemed like six was the perfect number, and I couldn't shake it.
We got our court date for the boys, flew to Ethiopia and fell madly in love.
Before we left Ethiopia we knew we would be back, that our family was not yet complete, and that we still had children here.
Until you have experienced the feeling, there aren't words to explain it. It wasn't simply a desire to grow our family, it was an indisputable certainty that we would be back. A fact, like the sun rises in the East and sets in the West.
We were home for two months when we inquired about a girl, a beautiful, gentle princess whom we had met when we went for the boys. We knew she was our daughter, meant to be ours and we were anxious to start the process to bring her home quickly. We were crushed when we had been told she was matched with a family already. How could this be? We knew she was meant to be ours but we had been wrong.
We pressed on, until one day a sibling set of girls appeared on our agencies waiting child list. They were from Gambella, just as our boys were, and there stories were remarkably similar. These were our girls.
It is interesting because you can look at 100 profiles of children and while your heart breaks for them and you pray that they find their forever family, there is not a connection in your heart. When you see a picture of your children though, the connection is immediate, it is as if you are staring into the eyes of your child.
This is how I felt with our girls. We fought hard to get them, and overcame obstacles that some days brought us to the brink, but we persevered and they were ours.
We flew to Ethiopia for the second time in 12 months and fell madly in love again.
We also learned on that trip that the beautiful girl who we knew was our daughter had not actually been matched with a family. Someone made a mistake when they told us she had been, when in reality not a single family had expressed interest. We were heartbroken, but knew that we would be back for her. She was our daughter.
We came home and had big decisions to make. We were now parents to four new children, all older, all with their unique personalities, strengths, needs, and struggles. What was best for our family? Were we able to emotionally provide for each one, in the manner they deserved? Financially how can we make this work? It was scary to say yes again, but there was no doubt what the answer was, she was our daughter and she needed to be home with us.
What started out as having two Sons, quickly became two Sons and two Daughters, and now a third daughter. Five!!! We would be parents to five perfect little souls from Ethiopia.
Despite the fact that five was already completely outside of Jimmys original plan, I still could not shake the number six. Two years later and six still sat quietly in the back of my mind.
In December while we were waiting to update our home study I went onto our agencies waiting child list. There was a boy, 6 years old, the most beautiful smile, and kindest eyes. My heart stirred.
But we were in the middle of upheaval with the house explosion only two months earlier, not being in a new home, trying to get our life to resemble something remotely close to normal. Surely we can't take on two more, could we?
I tucked him into my heart and prayed. I mentioned him to Jimmy and we continued to pray.
In January he was still on the waiting child list. We were finally in our new home and settling a bit, but we still needed to finish updating our home study. We hadn't yet been able to commit one way or the other. We did not want to get our hopes up before our home study was complete in case we weren't approved for two children. I would look at his picture daily, and every time I pulled it up and saw he had not yet been matched with a family I would feel a wave of relief. As much as I wanted him to have a family, I wanted it to be our family.
Several weeks later our home study was finished and to our delight we were approved for two. We had a conversation that night and it was decided he was our Son. The next day I emailed our agency to request his file.
It would be several more weeks of waiting before our agency agreed to match us, but in the end it was done. Our Son would soon be coming home, along with our Daughter.
Which brings me back to numbers. Six. When it is all said and done we will have six and it feels right, perfect, just the way it is supposed to be.
Jimmy just laughs when we talk about how six seemed like such an impossible number for him just two short years ago.
We are waiting for our court date now and praying fervently that it comes before the rainy season.
We are so blessed, and I have been through this enough times to know that Gods timing is always perfect so I take peace in knowing that right now, right this minute is exactly as it is supposed to be and when we get our court date it will be exactly when it is supposed to be.
And I can't help but smile when I think about having our six little loves tucked in at night under the same roof.
There is something about six.....
My heart sank. There was something about the number six that I couldn't shake. It seemed right. It seemed like six was the perfect number, and I couldn't shake it.
We got our court date for the boys, flew to Ethiopia and fell madly in love.
Before we left Ethiopia we knew we would be back, that our family was not yet complete, and that we still had children here.
Until you have experienced the feeling, there aren't words to explain it. It wasn't simply a desire to grow our family, it was an indisputable certainty that we would be back. A fact, like the sun rises in the East and sets in the West.
We were home for two months when we inquired about a girl, a beautiful, gentle princess whom we had met when we went for the boys. We knew she was our daughter, meant to be ours and we were anxious to start the process to bring her home quickly. We were crushed when we had been told she was matched with a family already. How could this be? We knew she was meant to be ours but we had been wrong.
We pressed on, until one day a sibling set of girls appeared on our agencies waiting child list. They were from Gambella, just as our boys were, and there stories were remarkably similar. These were our girls.
It is interesting because you can look at 100 profiles of children and while your heart breaks for them and you pray that they find their forever family, there is not a connection in your heart. When you see a picture of your children though, the connection is immediate, it is as if you are staring into the eyes of your child.
This is how I felt with our girls. We fought hard to get them, and overcame obstacles that some days brought us to the brink, but we persevered and they were ours.
We flew to Ethiopia for the second time in 12 months and fell madly in love again.
We also learned on that trip that the beautiful girl who we knew was our daughter had not actually been matched with a family. Someone made a mistake when they told us she had been, when in reality not a single family had expressed interest. We were heartbroken, but knew that we would be back for her. She was our daughter.
We came home and had big decisions to make. We were now parents to four new children, all older, all with their unique personalities, strengths, needs, and struggles. What was best for our family? Were we able to emotionally provide for each one, in the manner they deserved? Financially how can we make this work? It was scary to say yes again, but there was no doubt what the answer was, she was our daughter and she needed to be home with us.
What started out as having two Sons, quickly became two Sons and two Daughters, and now a third daughter. Five!!! We would be parents to five perfect little souls from Ethiopia.
Despite the fact that five was already completely outside of Jimmys original plan, I still could not shake the number six. Two years later and six still sat quietly in the back of my mind.
In December while we were waiting to update our home study I went onto our agencies waiting child list. There was a boy, 6 years old, the most beautiful smile, and kindest eyes. My heart stirred.
But we were in the middle of upheaval with the house explosion only two months earlier, not being in a new home, trying to get our life to resemble something remotely close to normal. Surely we can't take on two more, could we?
I tucked him into my heart and prayed. I mentioned him to Jimmy and we continued to pray.
In January he was still on the waiting child list. We were finally in our new home and settling a bit, but we still needed to finish updating our home study. We hadn't yet been able to commit one way or the other. We did not want to get our hopes up before our home study was complete in case we weren't approved for two children. I would look at his picture daily, and every time I pulled it up and saw he had not yet been matched with a family I would feel a wave of relief. As much as I wanted him to have a family, I wanted it to be our family.
Several weeks later our home study was finished and to our delight we were approved for two. We had a conversation that night and it was decided he was our Son. The next day I emailed our agency to request his file.
It would be several more weeks of waiting before our agency agreed to match us, but in the end it was done. Our Son would soon be coming home, along with our Daughter.
Which brings me back to numbers. Six. When it is all said and done we will have six and it feels right, perfect, just the way it is supposed to be.
Jimmy just laughs when we talk about how six seemed like such an impossible number for him just two short years ago.
We are waiting for our court date now and praying fervently that it comes before the rainy season.
We are so blessed, and I have been through this enough times to know that Gods timing is always perfect so I take peace in knowing that right now, right this minute is exactly as it is supposed to be and when we get our court date it will be exactly when it is supposed to be.
And I can't help but smile when I think about having our six little loves tucked in at night under the same roof.
There is something about six.....
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
A beautiul beginning
I started homeschooling a little over two months ago. When the decision was made and we knew we were moving forward in this direction I had high hopes with respect to seeing the academic progress the kids would make. Lets just say I have not been disappointed.
What had never crossed my mind as this decision was made was the emotional growth I would see as well. The relationships between the kids has strengthened in a multitude of areas. They support, encourage, and cheer one another on. They are a different set of siblings today and I am so proud of each of them.
The biggest transformation has been with Oz and his relationship with me. It is no secret that he has always been Daddy's boy. The relationship between him and I has been an unbelievable slow work in progress. I had fully expected him to be well into his 20's before he allowed himself to completely attach to me.
I was wrong.
I cringe to think just how difficult school must have been for him. Sitting in class each day feeling defeated, less than, and longing to be where his peers are. Aside from his social life, which he LOVED, school must have been a slow prolonged torture.
Since I have home schooled him not only has he made leaps and bounds academically, but he has bonded to me in a way I never thought was possible. When we were about two weeks into homeschooling I noticed he was becoming more affectionate. He would sit my be just because, or find a reason to have some sort of physical contact. Then he started kissing my cheek at night as we went through our bedtime routine. This has been a treat reserved only for Dad. As his academic confidence grew, and our one on one interactions increased, so did his outward displays of love toward me.
It seems that as the weight of his public school experience continues to wash off of him, he is becoming a new person. He is so happy not to have to go to school anymore. He has never asked to go back, not one time. Although he has expressed his desire to go to middle school for 7th grade as he wants to participate in the sports programs.
He recently got over a week long illness which wiped him out. High fever, headache, cough, etc. It was so hard to see him in that state. He needed me a lot during that time, taking care of things like his medicine, water, juice, small bits of food, etc.
This past Sunday was his first day of feeling "back to normal" and it was so good to have my Oz back. We were outside and I told him how much I had missed his smiling face, and I was so happy he was better. That night as we were winding down from our day he said to me "are you the best mom ever?" and I said "I don't know, what do you think, am I?" and he hugged me and he said "Yes I think you are the best mom ever in this whole world"
It took two years for us to get to this point, and it is with joy in my heart that I look forward to what the next two years holds, and each year after that.
Thank you God...
What had never crossed my mind as this decision was made was the emotional growth I would see as well. The relationships between the kids has strengthened in a multitude of areas. They support, encourage, and cheer one another on. They are a different set of siblings today and I am so proud of each of them.
The biggest transformation has been with Oz and his relationship with me. It is no secret that he has always been Daddy's boy. The relationship between him and I has been an unbelievable slow work in progress. I had fully expected him to be well into his 20's before he allowed himself to completely attach to me.
I was wrong.
I cringe to think just how difficult school must have been for him. Sitting in class each day feeling defeated, less than, and longing to be where his peers are. Aside from his social life, which he LOVED, school must have been a slow prolonged torture.
Since I have home schooled him not only has he made leaps and bounds academically, but he has bonded to me in a way I never thought was possible. When we were about two weeks into homeschooling I noticed he was becoming more affectionate. He would sit my be just because, or find a reason to have some sort of physical contact. Then he started kissing my cheek at night as we went through our bedtime routine. This has been a treat reserved only for Dad. As his academic confidence grew, and our one on one interactions increased, so did his outward displays of love toward me.
It seems that as the weight of his public school experience continues to wash off of him, he is becoming a new person. He is so happy not to have to go to school anymore. He has never asked to go back, not one time. Although he has expressed his desire to go to middle school for 7th grade as he wants to participate in the sports programs.
He recently got over a week long illness which wiped him out. High fever, headache, cough, etc. It was so hard to see him in that state. He needed me a lot during that time, taking care of things like his medicine, water, juice, small bits of food, etc.
This past Sunday was his first day of feeling "back to normal" and it was so good to have my Oz back. We were outside and I told him how much I had missed his smiling face, and I was so happy he was better. That night as we were winding down from our day he said to me "are you the best mom ever?" and I said "I don't know, what do you think, am I?" and he hugged me and he said "Yes I think you are the best mom ever in this whole world"
It took two years for us to get to this point, and it is with joy in my heart that I look forward to what the next two years holds, and each year after that.
Thank you God...
Sunday, April 14, 2013
The Baby Shower
How time flies. Kennedy is due in little more than a month. Precious Daughter will no longer be her exclusive title, but to it she will add Beautiful Mother.
Where has the time gone, and how ever did it go so quickly.
For any momma who has had to let a child go you can relate to the emotions that are forever swirling, from elation, excitement, pride, and unconditional love - to fear, sorrow, loneliness, and despair.
Letting my Daughter go has proven to be one of my most difficult transitions to date. I love her so, and while I want more than anything for her to fly into her bright future, I can't help but want to smother her tight, right here next to me for eternity.
Oh the joys and heartbreaks of Motherhood. I respectfully disagree with anyone who says childbirth is the most painful event of their lives. Letting your child go far surpasses that pain, and if I could trade one for the other, I would.
I love my girl beyond measure, and no matter her age, her marital status, or the number of grandchildren she gives me, she will forever be my baby.
Where has the time gone, and how ever did it go so quickly.
For any momma who has had to let a child go you can relate to the emotions that are forever swirling, from elation, excitement, pride, and unconditional love - to fear, sorrow, loneliness, and despair.
Letting my Daughter go has proven to be one of my most difficult transitions to date. I love her so, and while I want more than anything for her to fly into her bright future, I can't help but want to smother her tight, right here next to me for eternity.
Oh the joys and heartbreaks of Motherhood. I respectfully disagree with anyone who says childbirth is the most painful event of their lives. Letting your child go far surpasses that pain, and if I could trade one for the other, I would.
I love my girl beyond measure, and no matter her age, her marital status, or the number of grandchildren she gives me, she will forever be my baby.
 |
| Kennedy and Jeffrey |
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Easter Was Fun
After my last post about the plastic egg meltdown I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but Easter was fun.
I did a lot of things different this time.
First: I bought everything at the last minute. This was good because there wasn't much selection so I didn't go crazy.
Second: I kept it simple. Plastic buckets in stead of elaborate baskets. Everyone got the same thing (except Ry because of his age) a set of goggles w/snorkle and a beach towel, and candy. Ry got a towel and a Qdoba gift card in his bucket.
Third: I have always hidden the baskets, this year I set them all out on the dining room table, and hid only the eggs.
Since this is the kids the frist Easter for the four youngest they didn't know any different so for them this was AWESOME! In fact when Ahbie came down the stairs I could hear him saying to no one inparticular "The Easter bunny came! I sure love that guy!"
Ryan is older so he doesn't care about hunting for a basket, and had no desire to hunt for eggs. He had fun helping the kids find the eggs.
We had cereal for breakfast, went to Chilis for lunch, bought bikes for the kids as they have been asking often since they lost theirs. Today was a beautiful Spring day and bikes were the perfect addition.
Kennedy and Jeffrey stopped by and dropped off Easter goodies, which were scrum-dilly-ump-tious.
Jimmy took the boys and two of their friends to a movie and I watched The Wizard of Oz with the girls.
It was fun, relaxed, and full of joy.
Happy Easter.
I did a lot of things different this time.
First: I bought everything at the last minute. This was good because there wasn't much selection so I didn't go crazy.
Second: I kept it simple. Plastic buckets in stead of elaborate baskets. Everyone got the same thing (except Ry because of his age) a set of goggles w/snorkle and a beach towel, and candy. Ry got a towel and a Qdoba gift card in his bucket.
Third: I have always hidden the baskets, this year I set them all out on the dining room table, and hid only the eggs.
Since this is the kids the frist Easter for the four youngest they didn't know any different so for them this was AWESOME! In fact when Ahbie came down the stairs I could hear him saying to no one inparticular "The Easter bunny came! I sure love that guy!"
Ryan is older so he doesn't care about hunting for a basket, and had no desire to hunt for eggs. He had fun helping the kids find the eggs.
We had cereal for breakfast, went to Chilis for lunch, bought bikes for the kids as they have been asking often since they lost theirs. Today was a beautiful Spring day and bikes were the perfect addition.
Kennedy and Jeffrey stopped by and dropped off Easter goodies, which were scrum-dilly-ump-tious.
Jimmy took the boys and two of their friends to a movie and I watched The Wizard of Oz with the girls.
It was fun, relaxed, and full of joy.
Happy Easter.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
That's All It Took
A plastic Easter egg randomly placed by a child and then found by me in the pantry. That's all it took to plunge me headlong into a depression I haven't been able to shake.
Three Easters ago I bought close to 500 plastic eggs on clearance to be used the following Easter. I had big plans for an Easter egg hunt, and I was so very excited. I also grabbed a bunch of plastic Easter buckets, for those who forgot to bring theirs, and the greatest yard sign which read START to be placed where all of the kids lined up.
That following Easter came and the eggs weren't used because we were in Ethiopia meeting our Sons for the very first time. I could think of no better way to have celebrated that Easter, but knew in the back of my mind that the following Easter I would put on the Easter egg hunt.
The following Easter came and in Gods amazing timing we were in Ethiopia again, this time meeting our Daughters. Once again I couldn't imagine myself anywhere other than right where I was on that Easter Sunday, and I couldn't help but think about how wonderful the following Easter was going to be with these four new blessings hunting for plastic Easter eggs.
One week from today will be the following Easter, the one I had so looked forward to. Only I don't have those 500 plastic eggs anymore, or the buckets, or that yard sign. They are all gone, taken from me on October 12, 2012 when my home exploded. I write that and I cry. Not because those silly plastic eggs can't be replaced, but because it is a reminder of how the seemingly simple things in life aren't really simple at all. They make up who we are. They represent our ideas, our plans, our dreams, hopes, and joy.
I am angry that my life has been turned upside down. I am angry that I can't look in my pantry for the bread without being blindsided by a plastic egg that shakes my very foundation. I am angry that it has had this impact on me and that I can't shake it. I'm angry that the first Easter for my children will not be what I had planned, hoped, and dreamed.
I don't want to replace those eggs, I want my eggs back.
I don't want to replace those buckets, I want my buckets back.
I don't want to replace that sign, I want my sign back.
I am now so left of center that I wish more than anything else that Easter would pass us by and I wouldn't have to acknowledge it all. I don't have Easter baskets for the kids, every time I see them in the store I want to throw up. And then I get angry, and then depressed, and then angry because I am depressed.
And damn it I want my eggs back, I want the excitement I felt for that egg hunt back, and I guess I just really want my life back.
I'm tired of pushing ahead, I just want to to stop for a while and ask God why? I haven't done that, I don't do that, I try to be the eternal optimist, but right now I'm tired of trying to keep my head above water. I need to be carried for a while.
I think instead of asking God why, I need to ask him for strength and grace. Asking why is pointless isn't it? Who cares why, what's done is done. I need strength right now, to shake off these blues. And I need grace to help me understand that life is so much bigger than I can ever understand and eggs or no eggs, I can still make plans, have hopes, and feel excitement, if I choose to.
Letting go is hard. Much harder then I ever could have imagined.
Three Easters ago I bought close to 500 plastic eggs on clearance to be used the following Easter. I had big plans for an Easter egg hunt, and I was so very excited. I also grabbed a bunch of plastic Easter buckets, for those who forgot to bring theirs, and the greatest yard sign which read START to be placed where all of the kids lined up.
That following Easter came and the eggs weren't used because we were in Ethiopia meeting our Sons for the very first time. I could think of no better way to have celebrated that Easter, but knew in the back of my mind that the following Easter I would put on the Easter egg hunt.
The following Easter came and in Gods amazing timing we were in Ethiopia again, this time meeting our Daughters. Once again I couldn't imagine myself anywhere other than right where I was on that Easter Sunday, and I couldn't help but think about how wonderful the following Easter was going to be with these four new blessings hunting for plastic Easter eggs.
One week from today will be the following Easter, the one I had so looked forward to. Only I don't have those 500 plastic eggs anymore, or the buckets, or that yard sign. They are all gone, taken from me on October 12, 2012 when my home exploded. I write that and I cry. Not because those silly plastic eggs can't be replaced, but because it is a reminder of how the seemingly simple things in life aren't really simple at all. They make up who we are. They represent our ideas, our plans, our dreams, hopes, and joy.
I am angry that my life has been turned upside down. I am angry that I can't look in my pantry for the bread without being blindsided by a plastic egg that shakes my very foundation. I am angry that it has had this impact on me and that I can't shake it. I'm angry that the first Easter for my children will not be what I had planned, hoped, and dreamed.
I don't want to replace those eggs, I want my eggs back.
I don't want to replace those buckets, I want my buckets back.
I don't want to replace that sign, I want my sign back.
I am now so left of center that I wish more than anything else that Easter would pass us by and I wouldn't have to acknowledge it all. I don't have Easter baskets for the kids, every time I see them in the store I want to throw up. And then I get angry, and then depressed, and then angry because I am depressed.
And damn it I want my eggs back, I want the excitement I felt for that egg hunt back, and I guess I just really want my life back.
I'm tired of pushing ahead, I just want to to stop for a while and ask God why? I haven't done that, I don't do that, I try to be the eternal optimist, but right now I'm tired of trying to keep my head above water. I need to be carried for a while.
I think instead of asking God why, I need to ask him for strength and grace. Asking why is pointless isn't it? Who cares why, what's done is done. I need strength right now, to shake off these blues. And I need grace to help me understand that life is so much bigger than I can ever understand and eggs or no eggs, I can still make plans, have hopes, and feel excitement, if I choose to.
Letting go is hard. Much harder then I ever could have imagined.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Honor Them Always
It's really hard some days, hearing about the life your child led before coming to you. The depths of their emotions can be overwhelming and your first instinct is to run to safety, to avoid the emotional drowning that accompanies such tragedy. But then just as quickly another more powerful instinct kicks in, that of protector, of mommy - the soft place for your baby to fall.
In a strange and surprising twist, the latter is more safe, more peaceful, more empowering. You realize that to run to safety accomplishes nothing, other than avoiding the inevitable, while protecting, being their soft place to fall in those heart wrenching moments actually brings healing, and allows you all, even if ever so slowly, to move on.
There is rebirth and new joy found as each difficult memory is realized, processed, acknowledged, and accepted.
It is that joy you see in their eyes, and the comments after like "thank you mommy for letting me talk", that make walking with them through their pain so very worth it. And when you know this you begin to understand that while you were not there to protect in the beginning, your physical and emotional presence in the now are like a soothing balm to a raw and hurting heart. It is what they need. To be heard, acknowledged, validated, and understood.
Protect now their sweet innocence, for although they have lived through so much ugly, they are still innocent in so many ways. Listen to them, love them, soothe their fears, be quiet and still and just listen to them. Give them peace of mind today, or at the minimum begin to build this foundation for them. They will grow into their security, faith and trust but it can take time.
The goal is not to "fix" them or to "take away" their pain, but rather to show them that life can be safe, they can love and be loved, they are worthy and so very valuable, they are unique and special in a million different ways which is what makes them who they are, and why they are so loved.
To "fix" implies they are broken, which is surely not the case.
Don't run from the ugly, they deserve better then that. Their stories deserve to be heard, for this honors who they are and where they have come from. Embrace it, and always be their soft place to fall. Be their Safe, their Constant, their well from which to draw love, reassurance and security, until they are filled up with it and realize, one day, that they have a well of their own, deep down inside their hearts, from which to draw.
In a strange and surprising twist, the latter is more safe, more peaceful, more empowering. You realize that to run to safety accomplishes nothing, other than avoiding the inevitable, while protecting, being their soft place to fall in those heart wrenching moments actually brings healing, and allows you all, even if ever so slowly, to move on.
There is rebirth and new joy found as each difficult memory is realized, processed, acknowledged, and accepted.
It is that joy you see in their eyes, and the comments after like "thank you mommy for letting me talk", that make walking with them through their pain so very worth it. And when you know this you begin to understand that while you were not there to protect in the beginning, your physical and emotional presence in the now are like a soothing balm to a raw and hurting heart. It is what they need. To be heard, acknowledged, validated, and understood.
Protect now their sweet innocence, for although they have lived through so much ugly, they are still innocent in so many ways. Listen to them, love them, soothe their fears, be quiet and still and just listen to them. Give them peace of mind today, or at the minimum begin to build this foundation for them. They will grow into their security, faith and trust but it can take time.
The goal is not to "fix" them or to "take away" their pain, but rather to show them that life can be safe, they can love and be loved, they are worthy and so very valuable, they are unique and special in a million different ways which is what makes them who they are, and why they are so loved.
To "fix" implies they are broken, which is surely not the case.
Don't run from the ugly, they deserve better then that. Their stories deserve to be heard, for this honors who they are and where they have come from. Embrace it, and always be their soft place to fall. Be their Safe, their Constant, their well from which to draw love, reassurance and security, until they are filled up with it and realize, one day, that they have a well of their own, deep down inside their hearts, from which to draw.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The Wildlife Experience
I love homeschooling. I love it!!! Did I mention I love it??!!
Not only do I love it but the kids love it too. I knew it could go either way, so the fact that each day they wake up more eager then the day before makes me smile.
I love the flexibility, the laid back pace, the freedom to take as long as we need to on any one thing without worrying we aren't sticking to a stringent schedule.
I also love field trips. Since the weather has not been ideal for a lot of outside playtime, and they are now spending more time "cooped up" then what they are used to I opted to have a field trip last Friday to the Childrens Museum. It was a good time for the three younger ones, as everything was geared for children of a younger age. I felt bad for Oz though, as there was really nothing for him to do. He was disappointed.
I also took them on a field trip today. Jimmy was home and I thought it would be nice for him to join us this time. We went to lunch and then to The Wildlife Experience. It was fantastic! None of us had been there before and I am so glad we got to experience this first together. The kids were excited and engaged from the minute we walked through the doors.
Oz was so interested in all that was around him, he listened intently as Jimmy explained what this meant, and how that worked. Oz took out his phone and started taking pictures to have his own record of our visit.
The little ones were giddy, running from here to there, asking a million questions and soaking in the experience. It was a huge hit and we will be going back.
Not only do I love it but the kids love it too. I knew it could go either way, so the fact that each day they wake up more eager then the day before makes me smile.
I love the flexibility, the laid back pace, the freedom to take as long as we need to on any one thing without worrying we aren't sticking to a stringent schedule.
I also love field trips. Since the weather has not been ideal for a lot of outside playtime, and they are now spending more time "cooped up" then what they are used to I opted to have a field trip last Friday to the Childrens Museum. It was a good time for the three younger ones, as everything was geared for children of a younger age. I felt bad for Oz though, as there was really nothing for him to do. He was disappointed.
I also took them on a field trip today. Jimmy was home and I thought it would be nice for him to join us this time. We went to lunch and then to The Wildlife Experience. It was fantastic! None of us had been there before and I am so glad we got to experience this first together. The kids were excited and engaged from the minute we walked through the doors.
Oz was so interested in all that was around him, he listened intently as Jimmy explained what this meant, and how that worked. Oz took out his phone and started taking pictures to have his own record of our visit.
The little ones were giddy, running from here to there, asking a million questions and soaking in the experience. It was a huge hit and we will be going back.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Hair
I am starting to keep track of the hairstyles I do for the girls, both photos as well as the time it takes.
Here is the style for today.
I did flat rope twists on Elen with a side part. I put rubberbands on the ends in addition to the heart beads, but will do only the beads next time.
This is my first attempt at flat rope twists and it took me an hour and a half.
Here is the style for today.
I did flat rope twists on Elen with a side part. I put rubberbands on the ends in addition to the heart beads, but will do only the beads next time.
This is my first attempt at flat rope twists and it took me an hour and a half.
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| Before |
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| After |
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| Before |
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| After |
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| The Back |
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| The Top |
Friday, February 22, 2013
The Ups and Downs and Ups Again
All week the kids have been so excited about Friday being their last day at school. They have counted down the "sleeps" and have wished for it to come faster. I was really happy about this, as the decision to home school them was riddled with doubts/what-ifs/uncertainty/fear....
Although I know it is the right decision, it is scary. Seeing their excitement allowed me to feel better about our choice.
The last day of school didn't look like what I thought it would, and my heart hurts for my children.
Chuna is sick, fever/vomiting/sore throat, and couldn't go to her last day of school. She hasn't made any comments about wishing she could have said goodbye to her friends, but I am bracing for that in the next few days as she begins to feel better. She is a social butterfly and has many friends.
Oz was in a great mood today. He woke up early so he could go to his last Friday morning before school dodge ball game. He was Star Student this week so he got to share his photos and answer students questions. He was excited about this. He attended his last after school reading session and had it been up to him he would rather have skipped it. He was happy, excited, and seemed relieved to have the day over. His friends and teachers put together a goodbye card for him and after reading the comments I realized just how special he was to so many. Here are a few of the many comments written:
"Oz you were a greeeeeeeeeeat friend"
"Oz you're the best and everyone will miss you"
"Oz you're the best and you've been the nicest person in the world"
"Oz you're the best student, best game player, and a great friend"
And they go on and on. He was admired, liked, respected, and held a special place in the hearts of so many.
My heart hurts for him, that he has to be pulled away from such kindness.
Ahbie was slow to get up this morning, asking if he could just stay home. Once up and with food in his belly he was excited to go to school. He was the most vocal about his excitement at being home schooled. And he meant it, until today after school.
I picked him up and the first thing he told me was how sad he was because he wont be able to play with his friends anymore. We started to talk about it and I did my best to acknowledge his feelings and reassure him he would have friends, some new, and some old, to play with. My words rang hollow of course because when you are sad and all you want are your friends, nothing anyone says will make you feel better.
He was on edge the rest of the evening, and through dinner. We eventually found a quiet corner where we could snuggle and talk. He opened up more about his feelings and I didn't try to make it better, only listened and acknowledged, and loved him up.
It seemed to have been just what he needed because he heard something on the television and with a big grin jumped up from my lap and said he just couldn't miss his favorite show. Fifteen minutes later, for no reason at all, he ran up to where I was sitting wrapped his arms around my neck, kissed my cheek, and ran back to resume watching his favorite show.
I know this is the right decision, I know that while they will have their sad moments, and even angry moments where they will question why I did this, in the end it is what is best for them.
I am praying like a mad woman that a year from now I can look back at this post and smile because I will see just how wonderful my babies are doing, how far they have come, and will have something tangible with which I can say that this was the right decision.
God please give me the wisdom needed to help them through their hard times....
Although I know it is the right decision, it is scary. Seeing their excitement allowed me to feel better about our choice.
The last day of school didn't look like what I thought it would, and my heart hurts for my children.
Chuna is sick, fever/vomiting/sore throat, and couldn't go to her last day of school. She hasn't made any comments about wishing she could have said goodbye to her friends, but I am bracing for that in the next few days as she begins to feel better. She is a social butterfly and has many friends.
Oz was in a great mood today. He woke up early so he could go to his last Friday morning before school dodge ball game. He was Star Student this week so he got to share his photos and answer students questions. He was excited about this. He attended his last after school reading session and had it been up to him he would rather have skipped it. He was happy, excited, and seemed relieved to have the day over. His friends and teachers put together a goodbye card for him and after reading the comments I realized just how special he was to so many. Here are a few of the many comments written:
"Oz you were a greeeeeeeeeeat friend"
"Oz you're the best and everyone will miss you"
"Oz you're the best and you've been the nicest person in the world"
"Oz you're the best student, best game player, and a great friend"
And they go on and on. He was admired, liked, respected, and held a special place in the hearts of so many.
My heart hurts for him, that he has to be pulled away from such kindness.
Ahbie was slow to get up this morning, asking if he could just stay home. Once up and with food in his belly he was excited to go to school. He was the most vocal about his excitement at being home schooled. And he meant it, until today after school.
I picked him up and the first thing he told me was how sad he was because he wont be able to play with his friends anymore. We started to talk about it and I did my best to acknowledge his feelings and reassure him he would have friends, some new, and some old, to play with. My words rang hollow of course because when you are sad and all you want are your friends, nothing anyone says will make you feel better.
He was on edge the rest of the evening, and through dinner. We eventually found a quiet corner where we could snuggle and talk. He opened up more about his feelings and I didn't try to make it better, only listened and acknowledged, and loved him up.
It seemed to have been just what he needed because he heard something on the television and with a big grin jumped up from my lap and said he just couldn't miss his favorite show. Fifteen minutes later, for no reason at all, he ran up to where I was sitting wrapped his arms around my neck, kissed my cheek, and ran back to resume watching his favorite show.
I know this is the right decision, I know that while they will have their sad moments, and even angry moments where they will question why I did this, in the end it is what is best for them.
I am praying like a mad woman that a year from now I can look back at this post and smile because I will see just how wonderful my babies are doing, how far they have come, and will have something tangible with which I can say that this was the right decision.
God please give me the wisdom needed to help them through their hard times....
Friday, February 15, 2013
Basement Five
What a difference a week makes....
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| Double Vanity will go here |
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| Toilet and Bathtub |
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| Linen Closet in Bathroom |
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| Open Area at bottom of stairs |
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| Homeschool Room (originally my craft room) |
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| Ryans Room |
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| Salon |
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| Salon |
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| TV Room |
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TV Room Open Space at the bottom of the stairs |
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Basement 4
*The plumbing is completed
*The electrical is completed
*The insulation is completed
*All inspections thus far have passed
*Drywall starts going up in two days
*The electrical is completed
*The insulation is completed
*All inspections thus far have passed
*Drywall starts going up in two days
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| Bathtub is in |
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| Bathroom Plumbing |
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| Plumbing for my salon |
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| Drywall and insulation |
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| More insulation |
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| Electrical |
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