When we were waiting for a court date for the boys I was browsing the domestic waiting child lists. I happened upon a sibling group of six and the wheels started spinning. I looked at their pictures, I watched a short video that had been made, where each of them talked about what they wanted in a family. They were precious and beautiful and my heart broke for them. I talked to Jimmy and asked if there was any way we could try to pursue their adoption. He smiled at me, told me how much he loved me, and then apologized and told me no, there was no way he could do six in addition to our two boys we were waiting to bring home.
My heart sank. There was something about the number six that I couldn't shake. It seemed right. It seemed like six was the perfect number, and I couldn't shake it.
We got our court date for the boys, flew to Ethiopia and fell madly in love.
Before we left Ethiopia we knew we would be back, that our family was not yet complete, and that we still had children here.
Until you have experienced the feeling, there aren't words to explain it. It wasn't simply a desire to grow our family, it was an indisputable certainty that we would be back. A fact, like the sun rises in the East and sets in the West.
We were home for two months when we inquired about a girl, a beautiful, gentle princess whom we had met when we went for the boys. We knew she was our daughter, meant to be ours and we were anxious to start the process to bring her home quickly. We were crushed when we had been told she was matched with a family already. How could this be? We knew she was meant to be ours but we had been wrong.
We pressed on, until one day a sibling set of girls appeared on our agencies waiting child list. They were from Gambella, just as our boys were, and there stories were remarkably similar. These were our girls.
It is interesting because you can look at 100 profiles of children and while your heart breaks for them and you pray that they find their forever family, there is not a connection in your heart. When you see a picture of your children though, the connection is immediate, it is as if you are staring into the eyes of your child.
This is how I felt with our girls. We fought hard to get them, and overcame obstacles that some days brought us to the brink, but we persevered and they were ours.
We flew to Ethiopia for the second time in 12 months and fell madly in love again.
We also learned on that trip that the beautiful girl who we knew was our daughter had not actually been matched with a family. Someone made a mistake when they told us she had been, when in reality not a single family had expressed interest. We were heartbroken, but knew that we would be back for her. She was our daughter.
We came home and had big decisions to make. We were now parents to four new children, all older, all with their unique personalities, strengths, needs, and struggles. What was best for our family? Were we able to emotionally provide for each one, in the manner they deserved? Financially how can we make this work? It was scary to say yes again, but there was no doubt what the answer was, she was our daughter and she needed to be home with us.
What started out as having two Sons, quickly became two Sons and two Daughters, and now a third daughter. Five!!! We would be parents to five perfect little souls from Ethiopia.
Despite the fact that five was already completely outside of Jimmys original plan, I still could not shake the number six. Two years later and six still sat quietly in the back of my mind.
In December while we were waiting to update our home study I went onto our agencies waiting child list. There was a boy, 6 years old, the most beautiful smile, and kindest eyes. My heart stirred.
But we were in the middle of upheaval with the house explosion only two months earlier, not being in a new home, trying to get our life to resemble something remotely close to normal. Surely we can't take on two more, could we?
I tucked him into my heart and prayed. I mentioned him to Jimmy and we continued to pray.
In January he was still on the waiting child list. We were finally in our new home and settling a bit, but we still needed to finish updating our home study. We hadn't yet been able to commit one way or the other. We did not want to get our hopes up before our home study was complete in case we weren't approved for two children. I would look at his picture daily, and every time I pulled it up and saw he had not yet been matched with a family I would feel a wave of relief. As much as I wanted him to have a family, I wanted it to be our family.
Several weeks later our home study was finished and to our delight we were approved for two. We had a conversation that night and it was decided he was our Son. The next day I emailed our agency to request his file.
It would be several more weeks of waiting before our agency agreed to match us, but in the end it was done. Our Son would soon be coming home, along with our Daughter.
Which brings me back to numbers. Six. When it is all said and done we will have six and it feels right, perfect, just the way it is supposed to be.
Jimmy just laughs when we talk about how six seemed like such an impossible number for him just two short years ago.
We are waiting for our court date now and praying fervently that it comes before the rainy season.
We are so blessed, and I have been through this enough times to know that Gods timing is always perfect so I take peace in knowing that right now, right this minute is exactly as it is supposed to be and when we get our court date it will be exactly when it is supposed to be.
And I can't help but smile when I think about having our six little loves tucked in at night under the same roof.
There is something about six.....
