And here I am again 11pm and I should have been asleep long ago. I can't sleep anymore, I can't focus when I am awake, I feel like I am going a bit mad. This wait is starting to take a toll on me. I don't know which was worse, starting the process in July knowing we would wait, or now knowing that any day we can recieve a call with our court date. I obsess over my e-mail now, in the hopes there is news...I stare at the phone as if I can actually will it to ring, with news of a court date on the other end...And at night I lay awake tossing and turning thinking about my boys who are on the other side of the world (literally) and wonder what they are doing at that exact moment...I try to force myself to sleep but that is simply an exercise in frustration becasue it does not come....So here I am wide awake but exhausted, wondering how my Boys are, what they are doing, when will I get to meet them and when will they be home....
God please give me the strength I need to get through this, and the faith I seem to lack, that you do indeed have this under control.
