I was quite certain I did not want the kids to go back to
the site of our once beautiful home. There was no way their minds could
comprehend what they were seeing, and it would only serve to magnify their
fears. As a Mommy one of my responsibilities is to protect my little loves, and
by God I was not going to let any more harm come to them, especially if I had
control over the outcome. No, they were never ever going back there and if you
challenge me on it, well, let’s just say, you don’t want to do that because
this Momma bear is on steroids and I feel sorry for the person who dares to
step in that direction.
Jimmy and I met with a therapist who deals with trauma. We
wanted to make sure that as adults we were dealing with this in a healthy way;
and that we weren’t taking a detour into crazy town. Let me give a shout out to
the man upstairs who blessed us both with a pretty solid set of coping skills…~
HOLLA~
And then Jimmy brought up the kids, and taking them back to
the site. Clever move on his part to bring it up while in the presence of; A.
Another person and B. a professional who has much more insight into this type
of thing then I do. And so that Husband of mine, brave man that he is,
explained his position, not wavering despite my eyes burning a hole in the side
of his head. It was therapeutic for us to go back, he said. He pointed out how
once we got past the initial shock of what we were looking at it was actually,
dare I say, fun to find little treasures buried within the debris. Since the
kids had been asking to go back, he felt they would benefit in the same
positive way.
The therapist concurred, and said that just as adults need
closure children do too. He recommended we let them go back but to make it a positive
thing, focusing on things that they recovered versus all that was lost. He said
to make it a bit like an Easter egg hunt, where we plant items that are theirs
for them to find. He said not to stay to long, and following the treasure hunt go
and do something fun so that the experience is wrapped up in good memories.
And so I conceded,
and with reassurance from our therapist I was actually excited.
That night we snuck into the garage and found several items
that belonged to each of the kids. Jimmy took them to the site and put them in
easy to find areas. He kept them in an area which was safe for the kids to walk
around in without fear of nails, glass and other dangerous debris.
The next day we loaded up and headed over. The entire drive
over they were so excited they could hardly sit still. Once we pulled up their
excitement only grew. They wanted their things. We approached the site, which
is fenced off, and waited while Jimmy opened it. And then it was on. They found
backpacks, books, hot wheels, clothes, and some other random items. Their joy
was indescribable. Ahbie found a toy airplane we had given him when in
Ethiopia. Oz found his sign he held up at his first ever Nuggets game. Elen
found her dog that she used to roll around in her stroller. Chuna found her
stuffed bunny, sister to the one recovered earlier and safe at home.
And being the angels that they are they started finding
things for Jimmy and I. Ahbie saw Christmas lights and I thought he was going
to burst with joy. This was exactly what they needed. There were no tears, they
were not afraid, there were only squeals of delight as little treasure after
treasure were discovered.
After thirty minutes we decided it was time to go. We picked
up the girls’ best friend who lived two doors down from us and had lunch at a
favorite restaurant of theirs. We ended the day with a Colorado Rapids game.
It was amazing, and I thank God for bringing people into my
life to show me that if I keep my mind open he will work his magic in ways I
never could have imagined.
This will be a long road, but one I am looking forward to
walking. One foot in front of the other….Baby steps….
