Honor Them Always

It's really hard some days, hearing about the life your child led before coming to you. The depths of their emotions can be overwhelming and your first instinct is to run to safety, to avoid the emotional drowning that accompanies such tragedy. But then just as quickly another more powerful instinct kicks in, that of protector, of mommy - the soft place for your baby to fall.

In a strange and surprising twist, the latter is more safe, more peaceful, more empowering. You realize that to run to safety accomplishes nothing, other than avoiding the inevitable, while protecting, being their soft place to fall in those heart wrenching moments actually brings healing, and allows you all, even if ever so slowly, to move on.

There is rebirth and new joy found as each difficult memory is realized, processed, acknowledged, and accepted.

It is that joy you see in their eyes, and the comments after like "thank you mommy for letting me talk", that make walking with them through their pain so very worth it. And when you know this you begin to understand that while you were not there to protect in the beginning, your physical and emotional presence in the now are like a soothing balm to a raw and hurting heart. It is what they need. To be heard, acknowledged, validated, and understood.

Protect now their sweet innocence, for although they have lived through so much ugly, they are still innocent in so many ways. Listen to them, love them, soothe their fears, be quiet and still and just listen to them. Give them peace of mind today, or at the minimum begin to build this foundation for them. They will grow into their security, faith and trust but it can take time.

The goal is not to "fix" them or to "take away" their pain, but rather to show them that life can be safe, they can love and be loved, they are worthy and so very valuable, they are unique and special in a million different ways which is what makes them who they are, and why they are so loved.
To "fix" implies they are broken, which is surely not the case.

Don't run from the ugly, they deserve better then that. Their stories deserve to be heard, for this honors who they are and where they have come from. Embrace it, and always be their soft place to fall. Be their Safe, their Constant, their well from which to draw love, reassurance and security, until they are filled up with it and realize, one day, that they have a well of their own, deep down inside their hearts, from which to draw.