Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Kennedy Nichole

As I carried in my womb each of my three biological children naming them was never a decision made lightly. I would discard names who's meanings did not seem to "match" the personality of the child I had not yet met. In the end, after much searching, discarding, contemplating, and trying on for size, the names I chose have fit each of them to a tee.

Kennedy = Helmeted Chief
Nichole = Ruler of People

My girl....My amazing, funny, beautiful, thoughtful, courageous, crazy, smart, determined, precious baby girl.....Your name could not have been more perfect; you command every aspect of it.

My pregnancy with you was the hardest. I had morning sickness, pre-term labor - 3 times - you kicked - HARD - you allowed me no sleep, and left me exhausted even before your beautiful face entered this world. I knew you were going to be a strong-willed individual, hence you needed a name to fit your personality.

No sooner were you born when your diva demands hit the scene....Wet your diaper only once, crying ensued and you had to be changed...Hold you even one degree off of what was your ideal comfort spot, crying ensued and mommy needed to adjust you, even if only half an inch...Drinking from a bottle? Yeah right, only the breast would do and you made sure everyone knew it...Colic....oh man, I don't need to explain to any mother (or father) the exhaustion of a colicky baby.

You pulled out all the stops my beautiful strong girl and I would not have had it any other way.

As you grew your unique personality grew with you. You were both exceptionally loving and exceptionally frustrating. I remember how you would look me in the eye and deliberately reach for something you knew you weren't supposed to touch...You did not have the language skills yet but that look in your eye said "Go ahead Mom, try to stop me....There I touched it, now what are you going to do?"

Oh my goodness those were challenging days. Your strong will was both a blessing and a maddening cruel joke played on me for all of the drama I put my parents through. But even in those moments, always in the back of my mind I was proud of your will, your spirit, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you would never be the girl who was walked all over. There was and still is a great peace in my heart knowing that you (within reason) are able to take care of yourself.

Your early teenage years were fraught with hormonal outbursts that could rival the most insane patient in any psychiatric hospital. We more often then not did not see eye to eye. You went to sleep one girl and woke up a stranger. I often pleaded to God, "where did my girl go, and who is in her place?"
The more I tried to bend you (breaking you was not an option) the more rigid you became. The more I tried to reason with you the more unreasonable you became. It was hard my girl, so so hard. We had some fierce battles you and I, and then one day, just like that you went to sleep this stranger in my daughters body and woke up the girl I used to know, only different. You were happy again. You were engaged with the family, and actually enjoyed being around us. You were compassionate and thoughtful. You were calm and you had a wisdom about you. You had matured into a beautiful young Woman.

You work, you go to school, you help me around the house, you have this beautiful insite that is more often found in those much older then you.

I love you so much. I am so ridiculously proud of the Woman you are becoming, of the person you are. I respect your strength and ability to not take any nonsense from anybody. You will go far in life my girl and I feel so blessed to be your Mom.






No comments:

Post a Comment