Ahbie and Oz found Ryans Halloween wigs....

Who needs Carols Daughter when you have wigs!!!

I'm in business!!!!!

OK faithful friends and family I have officially opened my Etsy shop. I only have three items posted but please continue to check back often for new inventory!!!

You can get to my shop at http://www.jelloyellow.etsy.com/

Happy Shopping!!!!!

Beautiful Girl

I love my Kennedy for a million different reasons. I am so excited that this year she is graduating. We ordered Graduation accouncements, cap and gown etc the other day...Can't wait to get them!!!! I picked up her Senior Pictures today, and I have to say, my baby girl is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!

....and finally we meet

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Oz just loves the camera at OneTrueMedia.com

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Conversations with Oz and Ahbie part 1

As Oz and Ahbie expand their English vocabulary conversations with them, as well as conversations between the two of them, are nothing short of priceless. In order to keep track of all of the great things they say I am going to keep a running blog each week, and post it every Monday.

I meant to start this on Monday, but it was Halloween and time was not on my side...So I will post my first one today, Tuesday, with the goal of posting them on Mondays going forward.

Enjoy!!!!



Lying in bed Oz is still talking...So Ahbie says:
Ahbie: Oz be quiet
Oz: I am a man you no tell me to be quiet

I am driving in the car with Ahbie I say:
Mommy: Oh really, that's nice
Ahbie: Mom I'm seriously

The Boys are watching a show on TV and Oz says:
Oz: That guy he is running to slow
Ahbie: Uh that is called slow motion Oz

Laying Ahbie down for his nap we are talking about the snow that will come:
Ahbie: I love my snow, it is my Son

We are driving in the car and from the back seat I hear:
Oz: Who is farting?
Ahbie: Dass me
Oz: Ahbie I say don't fart in the car it is stinky
Ahbie: No stinky Oz, smell good see

Ahbie is trying to tell Daddy something and he doesn't understand:
Ahbie: Dad, you no listen, your ears no working

We are watching soccer on TV and Oz is routing for his team:
Oz: SHOOT, SHOOT THE BALL
Ahbie: Oz they no can hear you

Ahbies new favorite phrase:
Ahbie: Check it out

Driving in the car with the Boys, Ahbie wants to show me he ate all of his popcorn:
Ahbie: Mom look
Oz: Ahbie Mom no look back she is driving, if look back she will crash
Ahbie: Mommy has magic eyes, Mommy look back and no crash
Oz: No, I don't think so little man

Gracie barked at Ahbie, and Ahbie said this while wagging his finger at her:
Ahbie: Gracie, no bark at Ahbie, dass bery bad manners"

PuMpKiN CaRvInG

We had a really fun time today carving pumpkins...This, of course, is the first Halloween for Oz and Ahbie and they were excited to dig in. The past few years we have not carved pumpkins, with the kids getting older it just wasn't something any of us wanted to do. Now with Lil Man and Lil Man 2 we are all seeing things through their eyes, and it is a lot of fun.

I actually got Oz on camera smiling (he does NOT like the whole picture thing) which makes me happy, Ahbie didn't care to much for the "feel" of the pumpkin innards, and KK and Ry had a fun time coming up with their own designs.

I enjoyed roasted pumpkin seeds, which, as it turns out, are really yummy and really addictive.

Happy Halloween to all!!!

Our Little Patriotic Honeybunch

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Ahbie pretending to be Oz at OneTrueMedia.com

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A Rite of Passage

There are several things that come to mind when I think about momentous "rites of passage" for children as they grow up. For Girls it is getting their ears pierced, wearing a hint of make-up, and picking out their first, dare I say it, bra....I remember when I got my ears pierced. I was in third grade, I went to Fairview Elementary School, my teacher was Mr Lucero, and I lived at 7219 Grant Street.

My Mom told me that if I had a good report card my hard work would be rewarded with getting my ears pierced. OMG!!! You mean I was finally going to be like the other girls? Maybe now I can make some friends, because you know, girls are caddy that way. No ears pierced? No friendship. Ears pierced BFF for life!!! Like Oh My God (in my best valley girl voice)!!!!

I was so excited, my stomach did flip-flops each time I thought about it. I remember how much I focused, how hard I tried to memorize my math facts, that I was quizzed on by Mr Lucero, he on one side of the desk me on the other. 

And then the day came...The report card came out...Funny how I can remember the smallest of details leading up to this point but I don't remember what my report card was, only that it must have been good because I did get my ears pierced. I couldn't tell you where, I couldn't tell you what my first earrings were, or even if it gained me any friends. But the anticipation of that moment, that build-up of knowing that soon I was going to be "a big girl" will forever be burned in my memory.

OK, so that was the long way of getting to Oz and Ahbies rite of passage today....They went with Daddy to the store to return some shoes. They were gone for a while, longer then it should have taken to return shoes, but when they got home I understood why...

Ahbie came into the kitchen holding a bag with a smile on his face that was an equal mixture of excitement and pride. I asked him what's in the bag and he ever so slowly, making sure to be painstakingly careful with his most prized possession, finally revealed a......REMOTE CONTROL CAR.......Yes folks, remote control cars are a rite of passage for any Boy, just ask one...He could hardly control his excitement now that the box was out of the bag, he wanted that car and he wanted it right that second.

As I was working on releasing Ahbies car from the confines of 800 twist ties, tape, and screws, Oz came in with his bag. Now, Oz is older, he is 10, and very much wants to play the part of a mature 10 year old boy. You see, he's no "baby" like Ahbie. Oz reminds me of my Sister Cathy who every Christmas morning while the rest of us tore through our Christmas presents she would slowly unwrap each gift, not wanting to tear the paper. Oz starts to open his box, removing the tape, etc. We pull it out and he holds it. He wants to smile but that wouldn't be something a 10 year old boy does, so he very grown-up like, tells me that we need to put in the batteries and shows me where. I tell him how many we need and he counts them out for me, handing me each one. He watches me, making sure I am doing it just right. And then, finally it is ready to go...

He takes a minute to look at it, then sets it on the floor, finally he smiles, the excitement is to much to bear and he lets it tear across the floor. Oh yeah, he is all boy...He and Ahbie chase each other's cars, laughing, and creating a memory that, hopefully, they will remember for long, long time...Brothers experiencing the thrill of their first remote control cars, together....This is a rite of passage that leaves me feeling blessed to have been a part of.

 Life is good here at Casa De Martinez....Thank you God....

Our Beautiful Girls

At this moment, on the other side of the world, in Ethiopia, our two daughters are waiting. We have pictures, names, and ages, and once we are officially matched and pass court, all will be revealed.
Until that time comes let me just say they are beautiful, stunning actually, and can't wait to meet them.
This second adoption is very different from the first, much like a first time mother who is pregnant. As much as you want to enjoy it the first time around, you are so concerned about every particular thing that you can't just focus on the joy  of the pregnancy...This is how I was with the first one. The unknown was all-consuming. Calls to our coordinator with questions were constant...But, now, we have been there, done that, and I truly get to just sit back and enjoy my "pregnancy".

I realize when my daughters come home they will be older, but for me I feel like they are tiny embryos in my belly and in only a matter of months my day of giving birth will arrive. I will meet them for the very first time, count their fingers and their toes, hear their voices and God willing the sound of their little girl giggles. I will feel their tiny little frames enveloped in my arms. I will kiss their foreheads, their cheeks, their little hands. I will look at them, taking in all that they are, and all that they one day shall become. I will, on that day, become a Mommy again. There is nothing more miraculous then this.

It is a pregnancy of a different sort, but a pregnancy none-the-less.

Thank you my amazing God for blessing me with two more beautiful angels, your precious angels, who are in desparate need of a Mommy and Daddy, Brothers and a Sister, Dogs and Cats, and endless, unconditional forever love. Thank you for challenging me to keep my faith and to stay the course that I "thought" was right, and that you "knew" was right, all along. You are my strength, my God, and I pray that you keep my girls safe, that you wrap your loving arms around them, and that you plant a seed in their hearts that assures them Mommy and Daddy will be there soon, and they will never again be alone.
Amen and Amen and Amen

Faith, you either have it or you don't

Tonight is one of those tossing and turning, mind wont shut off despite the exhaustion, nights...So I write, and hopefully I can sleep after.

Without going into specifics, today I feel as if I have been kicked in the stomach. I have not yet been able to catch my breath and the threat of nausea is becoming harder and harder to keep at bay. I feel frantic, like I need to climb to the highest mountain top and pull some magical answers out of some magical place that exists, unfortunately, only in my head. I want something, and I want it so bad I can feel it burn through my body from the tips of my toes to the tip-top of my head. As a girl who has been known to be a bit of a control freak in certain situations, I need to feel as if I can control this as well. Unfortunately I can't.

This is where faith comes in for me. I cannot be a fair weather friend to faith. Embracing it and adoring it while in the midst of the good times and then forgetting about it when I want to assert my own control to try to make something happen. This is a concept I struggle with. And it is a vicious struggle, a fight in my mind and heart that rages on despite my attempts to tune it out.

I do believe faith trumps all. What I don't yet understand is, when does fighting for something you so desparately want start to outweigh the natural order of faith. I have always believed that God helps those who help themselves, is my fighting for something catching Gods attention, or is it having a total lack of faith that what is meant to be will happen.

Sigh....I wish I could call God and ask him....

I know every struggle, every heartbreak, every mountain to climb is an opportunity to grow and to learn something new. But I need a protein bar to make it up this mountain because this girl is tired and weary and heartsick....I guess my protein bar will have to be faith...Faith that as I put one foot in front of the other God is right beside me, smiling, knowing that when I make it to the top the reward will be more beautiful and incredible then I ever could have imagined. My heart knows this, I just wish my brain would catch up to my heart.

God, you are so good. I love and trust you infinitely. My faith in this plan is wavering but I know that with you all things are possible. I need only to trust in you and move forward with love, patience, compassion, and dignity. You shall see me through, for your plan is the only plan and my responsibility is to embrace it despite the unknown. Thank you God for loving me unconditionally, I know I must surely drive you crazy...I promise to stay strong and ask only that you be patient with me when I have a lapse in faith, I assure you it is only temporary. Amen and Amen and Amen

Kennedy Nichole

As I carried in my womb each of my three biological children naming them was never a decision made lightly. I would discard names who's meanings did not seem to "match" the personality of the child I had not yet met. In the end, after much searching, discarding, contemplating, and trying on for size, the names I chose have fit each of them to a tee.

Kennedy = Helmeted Chief
Nichole = Ruler of People

My girl....My amazing, funny, beautiful, thoughtful, courageous, crazy, smart, determined, precious baby girl.....Your name could not have been more perfect; you command every aspect of it.

My pregnancy with you was the hardest. I had morning sickness, pre-term labor - 3 times - you kicked - HARD - you allowed me no sleep, and left me exhausted even before your beautiful face entered this world. I knew you were going to be a strong-willed individual, hence you needed a name to fit your personality.

No sooner were you born when your diva demands hit the scene....Wet your diaper only once, crying ensued and you had to be changed...Hold you even one degree off of what was your ideal comfort spot, crying ensued and mommy needed to adjust you, even if only half an inch...Drinking from a bottle? Yeah right, only the breast would do and you made sure everyone knew it...Colic....oh man, I don't need to explain to any mother (or father) the exhaustion of a colicky baby.

You pulled out all the stops my beautiful strong girl and I would not have had it any other way.

As you grew your unique personality grew with you. You were both exceptionally loving and exceptionally frustrating. I remember how you would look me in the eye and deliberately reach for something you knew you weren't supposed to touch...You did not have the language skills yet but that look in your eye said "Go ahead Mom, try to stop me....There I touched it, now what are you going to do?"

Oh my goodness those were challenging days. Your strong will was both a blessing and a maddening cruel joke played on me for all of the drama I put my parents through. But even in those moments, always in the back of my mind I was proud of your will, your spirit, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you would never be the girl who was walked all over. There was and still is a great peace in my heart knowing that you (within reason) are able to take care of yourself.

Your early teenage years were fraught with hormonal outbursts that could rival the most insane patient in any psychiatric hospital. We more often then not did not see eye to eye. You went to sleep one girl and woke up a stranger. I often pleaded to God, "where did my girl go, and who is in her place?"

The more I tried to bend you (breaking you was not an option) the more rigid you became. The more I tried to reason with you the more unreasonable you became. It was hard my girl, so so hard. We had some fierce battles you and I, and then one day, just like that you went to sleep this stranger in my daughters body and woke up the girl I used to know, only different. You were happy again. You were engaged with the family, and actually enjoyed being around us. You were compassionate and thoughtful. You were calm and you had a wisdom about you. You had matured into a beautiful young Woman.

You work, you go to school, you help me around the house, you have this beautiful insite that is more often found in those much older then you.

I love you so much. I am so ridiculously proud of the Woman you are becoming, of the person you are. I respect your strength and ability to not take any nonsense from anybody. You will go far in life my girl and I feel so blessed to be your Mom.

Stay at home Momma...Is there a handbook??

I have always worked....My first job was at 12 or 13 delivering newspapers.I am now 39 (cringe) and last December I stopped working. If I do the math that means I have worked for 26 years. I enjoyed working, most of the time. I really enjoyed the freedom of having my own money, and I liked dressing for the corporate world....

I have been a "stay at home mom" for almost a year now. I still can't seem to find my groove. I have calendars and whiteboards that are supposed to keep me organized but the last time I checked my calendar was still on August and my whiteboards have been over-run by the writings of my kiddos. Note to self - I guess I actually have to use the calendar to make it effective.

My Husband says to designate certain days to do certain things. Laundry on Monday, Bathrooms on Tuesday, etc...Ha, that is so much easier said then done. I don't know why I can't get a grip on this but it is starting to make me really mad. After a while I begin to feel like my worth is based on how clean the house is, whether the laundry is done, was dinner on the table, are the boys pj's matching? and on...and on...and on...

The difficult thing for me about being a stay at home mom is that I am in my workplace 24/7...Which means that my "work" is being evaluated and critiqued 24/7...I remember working outside of the home and if I had a bad day and didn't feel like working I would just not work. I would spend time chatting with my employees, I would sometimes just it and stare at my computer screen while my mind wandered in a million different directions, I would talk to my Husband , my Mom, or any number of other personal phone calls. Then I would call it a day, my boss was none the wiser, and return to work the next day and get the job done. I can't have those days at home because the unfinished work is glaring at me, telling me in effect that I am a slacker, i'm not getting the job done....and this is life, day in and day out.

Except for the days when I wake up with a sudden burst of energy and tear through the house dusting, mopping, vacuuming, organizing closets, cleaning out the refrigerator, the pantry, washing, drying, and putting away every last stitch of clothing....Wow those days are good ones but so utterly unrealistic to maintain on a daily basis.

I am tired...Some days all I want to do is watch A Baby Story, What not to Wear, and Say yes to the dress...If I'm lucky I'll get to see a marathon of Mystery Diagnosis and wish that I were organized enough to keep a running tally of these strange and random illnesses that Dr's can never seem to figure out.

So what I really need is a handbook on how to be a stay at home mom...Perhaps after I get my act together I will write one, but in the meantime, if there is one out there I would be eternally grateful, as would my Husband, to anyone willing to share it with me.....

Time for a change

I have seen this happen with several blogs and am excited to say I have finally reached this milestone too....My blog has been pretty much limited to our adoption of Oz and Ahbie...I have loved having this focus and am plaeased I did it this way....However, the time has come to eaxpand my blog to include all things family...This means no one in my crazy housesold is immune from my even crazier writings.

Confession: I tried to incorporate Shabby Blogs into this, as I am totally a shabby chic kind of girl, but my never-ending computer illiteracy has stopped me cold in my tracks. Grrr is all I can say, well I can (and did) say a little more then that but this is a G/PG blog so I wont dare repeat what came out of my mouth.

I am looking forward to branching out and writing about all things Family....This should be fun ;)

Hoarding and a dryer sheet

Hoarding....That word can conjure up some pretty interesting visuals. I have called my husband a napkin hoarder because every time we eat at a fast food spot, he can't resist the urge to raid the napkin container. In fact if you see out pantry we have napkins from Subway, Taco Bell, Mc Donalds, Little Caesars, and the list goes on. It's funny actually, until we have people over and then I promptly replace the fast food paper goods with the more pleasing Bounty or pretty flowered or Holiday themed napkins I have at the ready. Ridiculous really, but true none-the-less....

However hoarding is also something that is really not quite so light-hearted and can actually be debilitating to some. Check out TLC sometime, they have a show dedicated to Hoarders and the horror it has inflicted on their lives.

I found out, in addition to my napkin hoarding Hubby, I also have a small time hoarder in my little Ahbie. You see, I have a piece of furniture that I use to display pictures and various art projects given to me over the years from the kiddos. This particular piece also has three drawers in which I store candles and and various other items, knick-knacks and the like. It has always been "my space" if you will. 

A few weeks ago I went to grab a candle from one of the drawers as I have always done in the past and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a little stash of this and that, that my Ahbie holds so dear. I found a scarf of mine, a headband of mine, several happy meal toys, small pieces of paper in which he practiced writing his name, police stickers he got when we went to visit Daddy at work, and a Tupperware bowl with hard as rock raisins that I recall giving him back in July. He had moved my candles to another drawer and claimed this one as his own. I left his belongings undisturbed, but replenished the raisins with fresh ones. Every few days I would check back to see if the raisins had been eaten, and they had, so the replenishing continues.

I find his act of finding a safe place for things, that for reasons unknown to me, are special to him, to be very endearing. I love that in this new Country, New Home, New Family, New Everything, he was able to carve out a little niche all for himself, as if claiming "this is my home too"....I actually tear up at the thought of this.

My little man also has a new comfort object for bedtime....a dryer sheet....Yep, you read it right, a dryer sheet. He found this dryer sheet in his laundry basket as we were putting away his clothes. I remember seeing him pull it out of the basket but didn't give it a second thought. Last night when I went in to check on him before I went to bed he had it in his hand. Sound asleep my little man was with his dryer sheet. Then again tonight as I was tucking him in I saw that he had it up against his cheek, in-between his cheek and the pillow. A dryer sheet....That just cracks me up, and I absolutely love it. I will keep track of that bad boy and once he tires of it, in the keepsake box it goes.

God you must really like me to have blessed me with the children you have, thank you, thank you, and did I say thank you! Man do I ever owe you big!!!!

Oh how I love my dryer sheet loving, hoarder of this and that that is my Lil Ahbie.

I love "Firsts"

Every weekend morning Ahbie has assumed the responsibility of waking Daddy and I up. No, in our house sleeping in is definately NOT an option. However, if I have to wake up early I love that it is to the smiling, bright-eyed little Ahbie that has captured my heart.

On Saturday Ahbie wakes us, and he is fully clothed, as he always is first thing in the morning. He wont come out of hs room unless he is dressed for the day. So on this particular Saturday morning Daddy asked him why he was dressed already, and told him it was OK to wear his pj's, that he didn't have to dress first thing in the morning. Then the game of tickle bug ensued and clothing was no longer the topic of conversation.

On Sunday, like clock-work, I hear the door to my bedroom open, little feet scurrying over to the bed, and then feel the warm breath of my little Ethiopian on my face..I open my eyes and smile, Ahbie tells me "good morning sleepy-head my precious" ahhh, heart melting...And then I notice, he is not in his clothes for the day, he is in his pj's...My little man seemingly indifferent to daddy's words yesterday really was listening...So he climbed under the covers and we cuddled up, mommy in her pj's and Ahbie in his.....This is our first morning pj cuddle session.....I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a Mommy, there is nothing better.....

I knew it would happen

Yes I knew the moments of racism, or perceived rascism were going to occur. I also know that they are going to be a reality for my Sons for the rest of their lives. I hate this, but I recognize there is not a thing  can do about it.

I took Ahbie to the Pediatrician on Friday. I really like his Dr, and the nurses and staff are always so nice to us.

We were in the waiting room along with four other children. There was this little girl, she was 5 or 6, very soft spoken, and good to her younger brother who was also there.

Ahbie and I sat down in in some chairs along one of the walls but Ahbie could not see the movie that was on so we changed seats. Innocent enough right? We move seats and Ahbie sits next to the little girl. He is captivated by the movie and not paying attention to anything else around him. All of a sudden I hear this little girl say to no-one inparticular "I don't want to sit next to the black boy" and she started to scoot forward on her seat as if to leave. I looked at her after she said this and I must have had daggers in my eyes because she stopped mid-scoot and then slowly sat back again.

Ahbie was completely oblivious to what has been said, thank goodness. But I was fuming. Her father was sitting right there, he didn't say anything, perhaps he didn't hear her, I don't know.

I contemplated saying something to her but ruled out that option as I was to angry and anything said would only have made me look foolish. Not to mention, if the Father had heard who knows what he may have said or done had I said something. So, I said nothing....Absolutely nothing....

How are children at that age already so hateful? How can parents raise their children to be that way? Whether it's against race, religion, gender, etc. teaching your innocent child to dislike based on that one trait is so disgraceful.

And then I come full circle and realize that this will not be the last time I hear comments or my Boys hear comments and the best gift I can give them is to instill in them the pride and love for oneself that will help them to look at anyone who hates in such a way and pity them versus allowing their hatred to define them.

Just look at this beautiful face, how can you not help but love him?

I Would Be Lost Without My Shoes

I have been known, as my Husband says, to be a "shoot from the hip" kind of girl. I am equally proud and ashamed of this trait, as it has been both a blessing and a curse. It has netted me miraculous results, and has also caused a great deal of pain to a great number of people. I continue to try to keep this crazy out of control way of being under wraps, but lately, it has reared its head at seemingly the worst times ever. GRRRRRR and GRRRRR and GRRRRRR again...

It is a difficult choice when you decide to expand your family. You are met with many choices, impossible choices, guilt, fear, astounding joy, excitement, and doubt. There is a great and overwhelming resonsibility, to the already-family you love-on each and every day, to the orphaned child who pleads with God daily to have a family who loves-on them each and every day.

It goes without saying that my love for those without family is infinite. If I could bring home each and every child I would, but I can't. And so you are left with choices. Who...Why...When...are but a few of these. And each of these choices is fraught with pain and guilt. How do you choose one over another? Why do you want to change the face of your family..forever...? When is the timing right to make this move?

The easy answer is to trust Gods calling...The not so easy reality is that trusting Gods calling is all fine and well but being left to make the decisions and all that come with those decisions is a painful process. There is, unfortunately, no handbook on how to do this. We do not have the luxury of picking up the phone and dialing Heaven - "Hello God what do I do now?" or texting God "OMG...WWJD?"

So the choices are ours to make and we must believe and have faith that with each step we take, with each choice that is made, with every mistake we make along the way, this truly is Gods plan.

So many lives are impacted. It is easy to get tunnel vision, and to assume everyone is right there with you, looking through that same tunnel. WRONG WRONG and did I say WRONG.....If there is one thing I am learning, it is that, while it is great to have a vision, and to be called to act, there are still amazing little lives who don't understand it, and instead of feeling the beauty of it, they feel the terror, anguish, and heartbreak of being forgotten.

Our already-family, no matter the age, no matter their stage in life, no matter if they talk to you every day or only once a month, do not want to be replaced, or forgotten, or pushed aside. While this statement seems an obvious one, it is actually a very difficult thing to remember. Difficult because through our eyes we know this is not what is happening. We know that our love for our children does not wane, it does not fade, it does not diminish. But do they know that? We know that adding to our family, is just that, adding. Not replacing. Not forgetting. But adding to what is already a beautiful, amazing, loving, funny, quirky, crazy, out of control family. There is no such thing as replacing, at least not in my book.

No one can fill the shoes of those who already are. Those shoes are meant only for them. They do not fit anyone else. Everyone has their own unique pair of shoes and this is what makes up the family. I would be so sad if I didn't have my neon green shoes, or my basic white vans, or my sailors work boots, or my soccer cleats, or my "car shoes"...You are what fill my closet up and it would be empty without you.

The beautiful thing about having a big closet though, is that you can add a nice pair of neon pink shoes, to compliment the neon green, and each stands out on their own, never to be replaced by the other, but to be loved and adored for their individuality.

And when I honk my horn at a cute guy in the car next to us, because my sidekick thinks he's "hot" I want my neon green shoes with me, because that's what we do, that's how we roll...Honking at random "hot" strangers and then laughing just for the crazy fun of it. No one but my Neon Green Shoes would understand that.

But, when I want to buy the latest Christmas Barbie with the matching Barbie Christmas tree, I want my pink shoes with me, because, well, honking at random strangers with my green shoes brings me a joy that can't be replicated, and buying Barbies with my pink shoes brings me a different kind of joy that can't be replicated. And my neon green shoes would think it dumb to buy a Barbie, and my pink shoes would think I was crazy to honk at strangers and wouldn't laugh at all.

And at the end of the day, when we are sitting around the dinner table talking about our day, we can laugh about the honking and how crazy we are, and how embarrassed we were, while oohing and ahhing over the beautiful new Barbie and her equally beautiful matching Christmas tree...

They are different...They are lovely...They are all things wonderful and special...

It is adding...Never replacing...

...and then he declared "Let's go and get our Daughter"

What a week. What a crazy, roller-caster, crazy week.

I found a lump on my leg in early August. Saw the Dr in mid-August, Ultra-Sound the end of August, MRI 2 days ago...Yep it's a tumor...GRRRRRRR....what the heck - where did you come from???!!!! Biopsy today....results this evening.....It is Benign...Thank You God...Surgery to remove this at the end of the month....Thank You God again and again and again....

I don't believe there is anything more terrifying then coming face to face with your own mortality. And when you are told, finally, that you are going to be just fine it tends to cause you to act, and act quickly, on your new lifes perspective.

With that said I had the most amazing conversation with my equally amazing Husband  this afternoon...and this is some of what he said...."honey...so relieved...was terrified...i love you so much...we are a team, we are in this together....i love you so much...oh my god I love you so much.....Let's go to Ethiopia and get our Daughter"

Yes, that's right...We are moving forward on a second adoption. A beautiful girl whom we met when we were there to get our Son's. She is 10(ish) years old.. she is painfully shy, she is magnificentally beautiful, she is gentle, she is kind, and she is so very, very, very loving. She is our Daughter and we can't wait to have her home.

This will be a long road, but one we are looking forward to traveling down, again.

God, thank you for grounding us. Thank you for stopping us in our tracks, for making us realize all that is important, and all that truly matters. Please give us the strength we will need to get through this process. Please impart the wisdom to those involved, that they will be quick and thorough in their decisions, and that they shall carry out your will, so that our princess is home with us sooner than later. Amen and Amen and Amen