Kennedy Nichole

As I carried in my womb each of my three biological children naming them was never a decision made lightly. I would discard names who's meanings did not seem to "match" the personality of the child I had not yet met. In the end, after much searching, discarding, contemplating, and trying on for size, the names I chose have fit each of them to a tee.

Kennedy = Helmeted Chief
Nichole = Ruler of People

My girl....My amazing, funny, beautiful, thoughtful, courageous, crazy, smart, determined, precious baby girl.....Your name could not have been more perfect; you command every aspect of it.

My pregnancy with you was the hardest. I had morning sickness, pre-term labor - 3 times - you kicked - HARD - you allowed me no sleep, and left me exhausted even before your beautiful face entered this world. I knew you were going to be a strong-willed individual, hence you needed a name to fit your personality.

No sooner were you born when your diva demands hit the scene....Wet your diaper only once, crying ensued and you had to be changed...Hold you even one degree off of what was your ideal comfort spot, crying ensued and mommy needed to adjust you, even if only half an inch...Drinking from a bottle? Yeah right, only the breast would do and you made sure everyone knew it...Colic....oh man, I don't need to explain to any mother (or father) the exhaustion of a colicky baby.

You pulled out all the stops my beautiful strong girl and I would not have had it any other way.

As you grew your unique personality grew with you. You were both exceptionally loving and exceptionally frustrating. I remember how you would look me in the eye and deliberately reach for something you knew you weren't supposed to touch...You did not have the language skills yet but that look in your eye said "Go ahead Mom, try to stop me....There I touched it, now what are you going to do?"

Oh my goodness those were challenging days. Your strong will was both a blessing and a maddening cruel joke played on me for all of the drama I put my parents through. But even in those moments, always in the back of my mind I was proud of your will, your spirit, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you would never be the girl who was walked all over. There was and still is a great peace in my heart knowing that you (within reason) are able to take care of yourself.

Your early teenage years were fraught with hormonal outbursts that could rival the most insane patient in any psychiatric hospital. We more often then not did not see eye to eye. You went to sleep one girl and woke up a stranger. I often pleaded to God, "where did my girl go, and who is in her place?"

The more I tried to bend you (breaking you was not an option) the more rigid you became. The more I tried to reason with you the more unreasonable you became. It was hard my girl, so so hard. We had some fierce battles you and I, and then one day, just like that you went to sleep this stranger in my daughters body and woke up the girl I used to know, only different. You were happy again. You were engaged with the family, and actually enjoyed being around us. You were compassionate and thoughtful. You were calm and you had a wisdom about you. You had matured into a beautiful young Woman.

You work, you go to school, you help me around the house, you have this beautiful insite that is more often found in those much older then you.

I love you so much. I am so ridiculously proud of the Woman you are becoming, of the person you are. I respect your strength and ability to not take any nonsense from anybody. You will go far in life my girl and I feel so blessed to be your Mom.

Stay at home Momma...Is there a handbook??

I have always worked....My first job was at 12 or 13 delivering newspapers.I am now 39 (cringe) and last December I stopped working. If I do the math that means I have worked for 26 years. I enjoyed working, most of the time. I really enjoyed the freedom of having my own money, and I liked dressing for the corporate world....

I have been a "stay at home mom" for almost a year now. I still can't seem to find my groove. I have calendars and whiteboards that are supposed to keep me organized but the last time I checked my calendar was still on August and my whiteboards have been over-run by the writings of my kiddos. Note to self - I guess I actually have to use the calendar to make it effective.

My Husband says to designate certain days to do certain things. Laundry on Monday, Bathrooms on Tuesday, etc...Ha, that is so much easier said then done. I don't know why I can't get a grip on this but it is starting to make me really mad. After a while I begin to feel like my worth is based on how clean the house is, whether the laundry is done, was dinner on the table, are the boys pj's matching? and on...and on...and on...

The difficult thing for me about being a stay at home mom is that I am in my workplace 24/7...Which means that my "work" is being evaluated and critiqued 24/7...I remember working outside of the home and if I had a bad day and didn't feel like working I would just not work. I would spend time chatting with my employees, I would sometimes just it and stare at my computer screen while my mind wandered in a million different directions, I would talk to my Husband , my Mom, or any number of other personal phone calls. Then I would call it a day, my boss was none the wiser, and return to work the next day and get the job done. I can't have those days at home because the unfinished work is glaring at me, telling me in effect that I am a slacker, i'm not getting the job done....and this is life, day in and day out.

Except for the days when I wake up with a sudden burst of energy and tear through the house dusting, mopping, vacuuming, organizing closets, cleaning out the refrigerator, the pantry, washing, drying, and putting away every last stitch of clothing....Wow those days are good ones but so utterly unrealistic to maintain on a daily basis.

I am tired...Some days all I want to do is watch A Baby Story, What not to Wear, and Say yes to the dress...If I'm lucky I'll get to see a marathon of Mystery Diagnosis and wish that I were organized enough to keep a running tally of these strange and random illnesses that Dr's can never seem to figure out.

So what I really need is a handbook on how to be a stay at home mom...Perhaps after I get my act together I will write one, but in the meantime, if there is one out there I would be eternally grateful, as would my Husband, to anyone willing to share it with me.....

Time for a change

I have seen this happen with several blogs and am excited to say I have finally reached this milestone too....My blog has been pretty much limited to our adoption of Oz and Ahbie...I have loved having this focus and am plaeased I did it this way....However, the time has come to eaxpand my blog to include all things family...This means no one in my crazy housesold is immune from my even crazier writings.

Confession: I tried to incorporate Shabby Blogs into this, as I am totally a shabby chic kind of girl, but my never-ending computer illiteracy has stopped me cold in my tracks. Grrr is all I can say, well I can (and did) say a little more then that but this is a G/PG blog so I wont dare repeat what came out of my mouth.

I am looking forward to branching out and writing about all things Family....This should be fun ;)

Hoarding and a dryer sheet

Hoarding....That word can conjure up some pretty interesting visuals. I have called my husband a napkin hoarder because every time we eat at a fast food spot, he can't resist the urge to raid the napkin container. In fact if you see out pantry we have napkins from Subway, Taco Bell, Mc Donalds, Little Caesars, and the list goes on. It's funny actually, until we have people over and then I promptly replace the fast food paper goods with the more pleasing Bounty or pretty flowered or Holiday themed napkins I have at the ready. Ridiculous really, but true none-the-less....

However hoarding is also something that is really not quite so light-hearted and can actually be debilitating to some. Check out TLC sometime, they have a show dedicated to Hoarders and the horror it has inflicted on their lives.

I found out, in addition to my napkin hoarding Hubby, I also have a small time hoarder in my little Ahbie. You see, I have a piece of furniture that I use to display pictures and various art projects given to me over the years from the kiddos. This particular piece also has three drawers in which I store candles and and various other items, knick-knacks and the like. It has always been "my space" if you will. 

A few weeks ago I went to grab a candle from one of the drawers as I have always done in the past and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a little stash of this and that, that my Ahbie holds so dear. I found a scarf of mine, a headband of mine, several happy meal toys, small pieces of paper in which he practiced writing his name, police stickers he got when we went to visit Daddy at work, and a Tupperware bowl with hard as rock raisins that I recall giving him back in July. He had moved my candles to another drawer and claimed this one as his own. I left his belongings undisturbed, but replenished the raisins with fresh ones. Every few days I would check back to see if the raisins had been eaten, and they had, so the replenishing continues.

I find his act of finding a safe place for things, that for reasons unknown to me, are special to him, to be very endearing. I love that in this new Country, New Home, New Family, New Everything, he was able to carve out a little niche all for himself, as if claiming "this is my home too"....I actually tear up at the thought of this.

My little man also has a new comfort object for bedtime....a dryer sheet....Yep, you read it right, a dryer sheet. He found this dryer sheet in his laundry basket as we were putting away his clothes. I remember seeing him pull it out of the basket but didn't give it a second thought. Last night when I went in to check on him before I went to bed he had it in his hand. Sound asleep my little man was with his dryer sheet. Then again tonight as I was tucking him in I saw that he had it up against his cheek, in-between his cheek and the pillow. A dryer sheet....That just cracks me up, and I absolutely love it. I will keep track of that bad boy and once he tires of it, in the keepsake box it goes.

God you must really like me to have blessed me with the children you have, thank you, thank you, and did I say thank you! Man do I ever owe you big!!!!

Oh how I love my dryer sheet loving, hoarder of this and that that is my Lil Ahbie.

I love "Firsts"

Every weekend morning Ahbie has assumed the responsibility of waking Daddy and I up. No, in our house sleeping in is definately NOT an option. However, if I have to wake up early I love that it is to the smiling, bright-eyed little Ahbie that has captured my heart.

On Saturday Ahbie wakes us, and he is fully clothed, as he always is first thing in the morning. He wont come out of hs room unless he is dressed for the day. So on this particular Saturday morning Daddy asked him why he was dressed already, and told him it was OK to wear his pj's, that he didn't have to dress first thing in the morning. Then the game of tickle bug ensued and clothing was no longer the topic of conversation.

On Sunday, like clock-work, I hear the door to my bedroom open, little feet scurrying over to the bed, and then feel the warm breath of my little Ethiopian on my face..I open my eyes and smile, Ahbie tells me "good morning sleepy-head my precious" ahhh, heart melting...And then I notice, he is not in his clothes for the day, he is in his pj's...My little man seemingly indifferent to daddy's words yesterday really was listening...So he climbed under the covers and we cuddled up, mommy in her pj's and Ahbie in his.....This is our first morning pj cuddle session.....I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a Mommy, there is nothing better.....

I knew it would happen

Yes I knew the moments of racism, or perceived rascism were going to occur. I also know that they are going to be a reality for my Sons for the rest of their lives. I hate this, but I recognize there is not a thing  can do about it.

I took Ahbie to the Pediatrician on Friday. I really like his Dr, and the nurses and staff are always so nice to us.

We were in the waiting room along with four other children. There was this little girl, she was 5 or 6, very soft spoken, and good to her younger brother who was also there.

Ahbie and I sat down in in some chairs along one of the walls but Ahbie could not see the movie that was on so we changed seats. Innocent enough right? We move seats and Ahbie sits next to the little girl. He is captivated by the movie and not paying attention to anything else around him. All of a sudden I hear this little girl say to no-one inparticular "I don't want to sit next to the black boy" and she started to scoot forward on her seat as if to leave. I looked at her after she said this and I must have had daggers in my eyes because she stopped mid-scoot and then slowly sat back again.

Ahbie was completely oblivious to what has been said, thank goodness. But I was fuming. Her father was sitting right there, he didn't say anything, perhaps he didn't hear her, I don't know.

I contemplated saying something to her but ruled out that option as I was to angry and anything said would only have made me look foolish. Not to mention, if the Father had heard who knows what he may have said or done had I said something. So, I said nothing....Absolutely nothing....

How are children at that age already so hateful? How can parents raise their children to be that way? Whether it's against race, religion, gender, etc. teaching your innocent child to dislike based on that one trait is so disgraceful.

And then I come full circle and realize that this will not be the last time I hear comments or my Boys hear comments and the best gift I can give them is to instill in them the pride and love for oneself that will help them to look at anyone who hates in such a way and pity them versus allowing their hatred to define them.

Just look at this beautiful face, how can you not help but love him?

I Would Be Lost Without My Shoes

I have been known, as my Husband says, to be a "shoot from the hip" kind of girl. I am equally proud and ashamed of this trait, as it has been both a blessing and a curse. It has netted me miraculous results, and has also caused a great deal of pain to a great number of people. I continue to try to keep this crazy out of control way of being under wraps, but lately, it has reared its head at seemingly the worst times ever. GRRRRRR and GRRRRR and GRRRRRR again...

It is a difficult choice when you decide to expand your family. You are met with many choices, impossible choices, guilt, fear, astounding joy, excitement, and doubt. There is a great and overwhelming resonsibility, to the already-family you love-on each and every day, to the orphaned child who pleads with God daily to have a family who loves-on them each and every day.

It goes without saying that my love for those without family is infinite. If I could bring home each and every child I would, but I can't. And so you are left with choices. Who...Why...When...are but a few of these. And each of these choices is fraught with pain and guilt. How do you choose one over another? Why do you want to change the face of your family..forever...? When is the timing right to make this move?

The easy answer is to trust Gods calling...The not so easy reality is that trusting Gods calling is all fine and well but being left to make the decisions and all that come with those decisions is a painful process. There is, unfortunately, no handbook on how to do this. We do not have the luxury of picking up the phone and dialing Heaven - "Hello God what do I do now?" or texting God "OMG...WWJD?"

So the choices are ours to make and we must believe and have faith that with each step we take, with each choice that is made, with every mistake we make along the way, this truly is Gods plan.

So many lives are impacted. It is easy to get tunnel vision, and to assume everyone is right there with you, looking through that same tunnel. WRONG WRONG and did I say WRONG.....If there is one thing I am learning, it is that, while it is great to have a vision, and to be called to act, there are still amazing little lives who don't understand it, and instead of feeling the beauty of it, they feel the terror, anguish, and heartbreak of being forgotten.

Our already-family, no matter the age, no matter their stage in life, no matter if they talk to you every day or only once a month, do not want to be replaced, or forgotten, or pushed aside. While this statement seems an obvious one, it is actually a very difficult thing to remember. Difficult because through our eyes we know this is not what is happening. We know that our love for our children does not wane, it does not fade, it does not diminish. But do they know that? We know that adding to our family, is just that, adding. Not replacing. Not forgetting. But adding to what is already a beautiful, amazing, loving, funny, quirky, crazy, out of control family. There is no such thing as replacing, at least not in my book.

No one can fill the shoes of those who already are. Those shoes are meant only for them. They do not fit anyone else. Everyone has their own unique pair of shoes and this is what makes up the family. I would be so sad if I didn't have my neon green shoes, or my basic white vans, or my sailors work boots, or my soccer cleats, or my "car shoes"...You are what fill my closet up and it would be empty without you.

The beautiful thing about having a big closet though, is that you can add a nice pair of neon pink shoes, to compliment the neon green, and each stands out on their own, never to be replaced by the other, but to be loved and adored for their individuality.

And when I honk my horn at a cute guy in the car next to us, because my sidekick thinks he's "hot" I want my neon green shoes with me, because that's what we do, that's how we roll...Honking at random "hot" strangers and then laughing just for the crazy fun of it. No one but my Neon Green Shoes would understand that.

But, when I want to buy the latest Christmas Barbie with the matching Barbie Christmas tree, I want my pink shoes with me, because, well, honking at random strangers with my green shoes brings me a joy that can't be replicated, and buying Barbies with my pink shoes brings me a different kind of joy that can't be replicated. And my neon green shoes would think it dumb to buy a Barbie, and my pink shoes would think I was crazy to honk at strangers and wouldn't laugh at all.

And at the end of the day, when we are sitting around the dinner table talking about our day, we can laugh about the honking and how crazy we are, and how embarrassed we were, while oohing and ahhing over the beautiful new Barbie and her equally beautiful matching Christmas tree...

They are different...They are lovely...They are all things wonderful and special...

It is adding...Never replacing...

...and then he declared "Let's go and get our Daughter"

What a week. What a crazy, roller-caster, crazy week.

I found a lump on my leg in early August. Saw the Dr in mid-August, Ultra-Sound the end of August, MRI 2 days ago...Yep it's a tumor...GRRRRRRR....what the heck - where did you come from???!!!! Biopsy today....results this evening.....It is Benign...Thank You God...Surgery to remove this at the end of the month....Thank You God again and again and again....

I don't believe there is anything more terrifying then coming face to face with your own mortality. And when you are told, finally, that you are going to be just fine it tends to cause you to act, and act quickly, on your new lifes perspective.

With that said I had the most amazing conversation with my equally amazing Husband  this afternoon...and this is some of what he said...."honey...so relieved...was terrified...i love you so much...we are a team, we are in this together....i love you so much...oh my god I love you so much.....Let's go to Ethiopia and get our Daughter"

Yes, that's right...We are moving forward on a second adoption. A beautiful girl whom we met when we were there to get our Son's. She is 10(ish) years old.. she is painfully shy, she is magnificentally beautiful, she is gentle, she is kind, and she is so very, very, very loving. She is our Daughter and we can't wait to have her home.

This will be a long road, but one we are looking forward to traveling down, again.

God, thank you for grounding us. Thank you for stopping us in our tracks, for making us realize all that is important, and all that truly matters. Please give us the strength we will need to get through this process. Please impart the wisdom to those involved, that they will be quick and thorough in their decisions, and that they shall carry out your will, so that our princess is home with us sooner than later. Amen and Amen and Amen

Trust is Earned

So my Oz is going through some "stuff"....The "honeymoon" as it goes, has come and gone. Comparitively our transition has been remarkably easy, and free of the "typical" issues so many others have had to deal with - knock on wood.....

But a definate pattern has crept up on my once laid back - easy going Asart...It seems to surround issues of trust, but is not confined to only that area. I have been keeping track of our daily life and in the last 7 days my boy has had a meltdown on 5 of them. To give this context, when I say meltdown I do not mean flailing on the ground kicking and screaming. If you know Oz, you know that is not his style. His version of a meltdown is to quickly - and I mean in the blink of an eye quickly - grow very quiet, somber in the most extreme sense of the word and then the tears begin. They flow and they flow and they flow - steady streams of tears that once they are finished leave trails of white streaks down each cheek where the paths of the tears ran their respective courses, and, he will not talk - for a long time. But as he is crying he hums - at least that's what it sounds like to me - this humming sound of heartbreak.

He had a meltdown while out to dinner after a soccer game. It started seemingly out of the blue, we didn't know what happened, he refused to eat, he refused to talk, he sat in his seat and cried. We finished dinner, got in the car, still crying. We got home, still crying, we tried talking to him, still crying. I finally coaxed him into a warm bubble bath, still crying but at least letting me poor warm water on his back while singing to him. After ten minutes in the bath the crying slowed down, then stopped altogether. But he was silent. No words. He cried nonstop for almost two hours. Later that night Daddy talked to him and he opened up. He told Daddy that I laughed at him at the restaurant. Huh?? I had no idea - and still don't know what happened, what he mistook as laughing "at" him.

A couple of days later I made chicken for dinner (he loves chicken) and when he saw what it was he said he didn't like it. I thought he was "faking" because often he will say "Oz no like this" and then we say "OK, let me have it" and he will laugh and say "I'm just faking, I like" so I thought this was one of those times. My response to him was "Yeah Yeah silly boy, go ahead and eat" That triggered him. He grew quiet, then the tears, then he got angry and said "Oz no talk" and Daddy explained to him that when he gets upset he talks about it so he can feel better, that's what we all do. He was not having it and raised his voice to Daddy "I no talk!" Daddy explained it was not OK to raise his voice that way to Daddy, or to Mommy...Oz crossed his arms, tears steadily flowing and said through a clenched jaw "I no like family" ***oh man - was I just kicked in the stomach*** Luckily I had prepared myself for this type of comment and new not to take it personal, but when you hear it for the first time there is no way to prepare for what that feels like. Daddy took Oz to his room where he could have some time to work through what he was feeling. Daddy laid with him on his bed for about 30 minutes. No talking just Oz crying. Then I swapped places, Daddy went to finish dinner and I laid with Oz for another 30-45 minutes. When the crying stopped he was quick to tell me that he was mad/sad because Mommy told him to eat chicken and he no like. I relented and explained to him that if he does not want to eat chicken he doesn't have to. This food situation is a battle I am willing to concede defeat on. My Boys are trying to figure out what they like/don't like and so far pizza, spaghetti, mcdonalds, oranges, avocados, some soups, chipotle chicken and a chicken sandwich at Subway are pretty much all they want to eat. I know this will pass, and as long as they are taking their vitamins daily I'm not worried.

Yesterday Oz wanted to be picked up from school in the car. This means instead of my parking, getting out of the car, meeting him when he gets out, then walking back to the car, I pull up in the car pool lane and he gets in the car. The problem with the car pool lane is that it doesn't always run smooth and sometimes it takes FOREVER to get to where he is. Yeasterday was one of those times. He had to wait for about 6 minutes and he was MAD. I could see it all over his face before he got in the car. Once in he immediately said, "Mom no come" I tried explaining to him about the traffic and that he can walk down the sidewalk to get to me faster instead of waiting for me to make it through traffic. Uh hello Mom this is not about the fact that he had to wait, it's about abandonment...Needless to say my explanation fell on deaf ears, and understandably so, my Boy was terrified I was not coming to get him, he doesn't give a hoot about WHY I wasn't there. FOr him it begins and ends with I wasn't there. And the crying began. And we got home and the crying continued. And when I went upstairs he was sitting at his drawing table crying. I pulled up a chair and took his hands into mine. I asked him to please look at me, please look at my eyes. He did (which I was proud of as we are working on this all of the time) and I told him I was sorry I was not there when he got out of school. I asked him if he was scared when I was not there and the crying intensified, I told him I understood, and I would have been scared too. I told him that Mommy and Daddy will ALWAYS be there to get him, and I reitterated this many times. Repeating again and again that we will always be there, forever and ever. Again I told him I was sorry, kissed his hands, his forehead, the top of his head, told him how much I loved him. The crying stopped. But he still did not want to talk. He wanted some time alone and asked me to close the door to the playroom. I did. It wasn't more then five minutes when he opened the door and the beautiful smiling Asart was back.

Trust is earned...And Daddy and I have a long way to go in earning the trust of our Sons. What an amazing and beautiful journey it will be, to see such brokenness, slowly healed bit by bit and piece by piece until they become whole again. I love my Sons so much it takes my breath away and it makes my heart ache. It is my responsibility and duty to ensure that I painstakingly plan, prepare, and organize my life in such a way that they see, through action, that what Mommy said, that we will be there always and forever and ever, is true. They deserve this, and so much more.

Thank you God for my Sons. Please help me to be tuned in to what they are feeling, so that I may help them and walk through this with them. That they may trust me and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will be there always, forever and ever and ever....Amen

"Car Shoes" according to Ahbie

It took a minute for him to get used to the idea of slippers. He didn't understand the concept of having "shoes" to wear only in the house and was horrified at the thought of having to wear these "slippers" to school. After a bit of coaxing and reassuring that school wound NOT have to see the shoes he relented and picked out the pair he liked best.

As we were leaving to pick up Oz from school, Ahbie ran upstairs to get his shoes on. When he came downstairs he called me over for a "photo" saying he wanted to wear his "car shoes"....I walked to the staircase and lil man was proudly posing the "car shoes" he has fallen in love with...

A Great Weekend

We had a really fun Labor Day weekend...On Saturday we went to Julie and Brians beautiful home in Woodland Park. The views are so serene and beautiful. Ahbie played with Janae and they had a great time exploring.

On Sunday we went up to the mountains. First we went to Boulder Falls to see the water fall I used to spend many weekends visiting when I was a little girl. Funny how things seem so much bigger when you are small....From there we went higher up and enjoyed a nice hike. The weather was perfect and the boys loved it.

Elmers Glue or Lotion???

We were at the table eating pizza and Daddy tells Oz he needs to lotion his arms. Oz looks at me and says "Mom, Oz lotion at school, you put lotion in bolsa(backpack)" I told him "no, I didn't put lotion in his backpack".

He looks confused and says "Mom what is this is my bolso, it is white" and then on the table he draws an outline of a glue bottle. I said "That's glue" and he asks what glue is, so Daddy explains what it is used for.

This look comes across his face, and it was as if you could see a lightbulb come on...He smiles and then breaks out into a laugh. He says in between his giggles "Oh Mom, Oz thought glue lotion, Oz did this" and he shows us how he rubbed it all over his hands and his face. The whole time laughing as he realizes what he has done.

Of course we are laughing too and Daddy asks him if he had to go to the bathroom to wash it off, and still laughing Oz says"No I just did this" and does a rubbing motion on his face and hands to demonstrate how he got it off...I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, and it was so precious to see Oz take that mistake in stride and to appreciate the humor in it.

Needless to say he now has a real bottle of lotion in his backpack to put in his desk at school.

Lord how I love this little man of mine, and the grace he demonstrates each and every day. What a treasure he is.

I just love this little guy

I love his smile, his eyes, his angelic face, his funnier then funny personality, his never-ending cheerful disposition, his hugs and his kisses, his sweet little voice, his beautiful Ethiopian accent, and most of all I LOVE THAT HE IS MY SON!!!!!

I like School Mom

The first three days of school were great for Oz. Then came the fourth day and with it tears and pleading "Please Mom no school. I no like school, Oz no English". Ouch...Heartbreak...Helpless...

I did my best to reassure this bery frightened and overwhelmed boy, but to no avail. Every school morning was a repeat of this scenario. Sometimes with tears, other times with frustrated anger. He could not understand why I was "making" him go to a place he did not want to be. He was mad at me, and I can't blame him.

He has been working with his ESL teacher now for two weeks. His sessions are both one on one time as well as Rosetta Stone.

Today while eating lunch my Asart surprised me by saying in a very matter of fact way "I like school Mom"

That was it, no explanation, no specific reasons, just simply " I like school Mom"

Thank you God for getting my Son through these last weeks. Hearing those words filled my heart with such joy and happiness for him. I am proud of my Asart, he is amazing.

Meet Dib

So, we found Dib at the store. As soon as Ahbie saw him he was in love. In his sweet Ahbie way he asked again and again if we could take him home - "Please Mommy, Abrehem I like"

How can I say no, right? So we bring Dib home. At the time we didn't have a name for this big cuddly galoot but Ahbie changed that shortly after we got him home. "His name is Dib Mommy, and Abrehem I like Dib"

He cuddles with him, reads with him, sleeps with him, and in the daytime Dib patiently waits on Ahbies bed for his little buddy to come play. At night Dib watches over him, keeping him safe. They are best buddies, Dib and Ahbie, and I have a feeling he will be around for a long long time.

We love Dib.....

Ahbies First Day of Kindergarten

Wednesday the 10th was Ahbies first day of Kindergarten. He was so excited to go and to make new friends. We met his teacher on Monday and she is wonderful. I didn't get a chance to talk to her when I picked Ahbie up but she was kind enough to send me an e-mail with how Ahbie's first day went. This is what she said:

Hello!

I just wanted to let you know what a SUPER day Ahbie had! I hope he enjoyed it. He is already a leader in the classroom. I love having him and will do whatever it takes to make this a great experience for him and your family.

I can tell he is very intelligent and has a kind soul. Thank you for sharing him with our class!

I am so proud of my Little Man!!!!

......And this was his happy face when I picked him up...

We got home and had lunch, and the excitement of the day caught up with him...Gone was the happy face, and in its place Mr Grumpy Gills...

But after a good nap he was back to his normal cutie pie, honey bunch self......

Well I declare

I do believe I love just how gorgeous my children are....Jus Sayin.... :)

Boys Day Out

Today all of my Boys went on their own excursion going to The Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. On their way down they stopped by the Air Force Academy to take a few pictures next to the big airplane.

After spending some time there they moved on to their final destination and took a lot of great pictures. If you have never been to the Garden of the Gods you MUST go. It is so beautiful and peaceful. The Boys loved hiking up the big rock formations and posed for pictures with enthusiasm. This was actually the first time - ever - that Oz wanted his picture taken, asking Daddy each time he found a spot he wanted memorialized via photos. He even clowned around with his poses, which he NEVER does.

And Daddy is there

Today Asart was riding his bike, his favorite past-time, and in an attempt to avoid running into Ahbie he turned to sharp and flew off of his bike. He is OK. A few scrapes on each arm, and a few on his leg. More then anything he was scared.

Few things in life can literally take your breath away, but watching your child run head on into disaster is right at the top of the list.

The flip side to this is, there is nothing so breath-takingly beautiful as seeing your baby boy jump up and run with fierce determination into the arms of Daddy, knowing without hesitation that here he will find the protection, love, and comfort he needs.

Daddy is so very loved.....

 

One down, how many to go?

We had our 1 month post adoption visit this afternoon. I am relieved and happy to say that it all went off without a hitch. I realize, again, just how lucky I am to be able to call these two gorgeous ethiopian babes my Sons.

In case I haven't said it in a  while - THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

My Ahbie Dancing

In Ethiopia Asart Sad, In America Asart Happy

Asart told us yesterday while driving in the car "In Ethiopia Asart Sad, In America Asart Happy"....
What exactly does a Momma say to her baby boy when she hears this? Communication is still trial and error, a lot of demonstrating with hands and words strung together that make you sound as if you are talking to a toddler. This is not to diminish my Sons intelligence or ability to understand, simply it is to put a perspective on why we couldn't go into an in-depth discussion about why he was sad, what happened to make him sad, etc...So I said this "Ekurtah(I'm Sorry) Asart was sad in Ethiopia. When Asart and Abrehem were in Ethiopia Mommy and Daddy were sad, but when Asart and Abrehem came to America Mommy and Daddy were very happy" He smiled - if you ever see this smile you will see how it lights up everything- and said "Yes, Mommy Daddy happy Asart Abrehem come to America"

My Asart is going through a transition right now and he is shunning all things Ethiopian. He did not want to go to the local Ethiopian restaurant. When we got there he had no interest in playing with the children who knew him from the Care Center. He refused to eat his food without a fork and once he finished what little he ate he was adament about leaving right that minute. Driving home he said "I dont go to insert name of restaurant here again, Asart no like"

More often then not when we ask him what a word is in Amharic he says "I don't know" he used to offer up this information completely unsolicited.

On Sunday we were going to go to the Ethiopian Festival. We wanted the Boys to where their traditional Ethiopain outfits. Asart was not having any of it. "I don't like Mommy, please no" and so he didn't. Which was OK because at lunch, before we went he started crying. After some prompting he finally said barely above a whisper "I don't go to Ethiopian Park" and he cried quietly. We decided that the anxiety this caused him was to great and we would not go.

We are following his lead on this one. His experiences have led him to this point and we will hold his hand through his journey. I pray he comes full circle and embraces his beautiful heritage. He has much to be proud of.

Until that day comes I will continue to thank God that "In America Asart Happy"

Missing Ethiopia

I miss Ethiopia. I miss the very early morning wake up call from the rooster and the responding barks from the dogs. I miss the morning prayers over the loudspeaker. I miss the sound at 4:30am of a car driving by every 5 minutes or so, before the heavy all day long traffic kicks in. I miss the friends I made there, and the music played in the restaurant at the guest house. I miss the walks down the street to the grocery, where we would buy juice and afoofas (balloons). I miss the people who were always so kind, and once you said Salem their faces would light up and beautiful smiles would follow. I miss Sele Enat and the children there. I miss the Nannies and Teacher and Bete and Lydia. I miss the piece of my heart that has been left behind.

Journey to our Beautiful Sons

Please click on the link below to see our journey to our Beautiful Asart and Abrehem.

http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=e96acdb8d73c773c3170c3&skin_id=1901&utm_source=PostFacebook&utm_medium=Share&utm_content=PostFacebook&utm_campaign=PostFacebook&origin=facebook

Where does the time go?

I was looking at my blog and realized I haven't updated it since April 15th, which seems like a lifetime ago. Three months have passed since then and my life is not remotely the same as it was. In three short months - 90 days - everything has changed. I never could have dreamed life had so much to offer, yet here I sit with a beautiful family, I am Mommy now to two more amazing boys, I have a Husband whom I adore, and each day I wake up more happy then the one before. As Jimmy and I say "It's like Christmas morning every day"

Oz and Ahbie start school on August 3rd. We meet with the principal on July 25th to see which grade Oz should be placed. They will attend ESL classes where they receive the one on one attention they need and I am confident that by Christmas break they will be thriving.

We visited their school yesterday to show them the playground and to look through the windows since this si the first time seeing an "American School". Ahbie could not stop smiling and at least 20 times said "WOW"....They are both excited to go and to start making new friends.

That's all for now, just want to end with this - I love my Sons like crazy.